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Let these funny Trespass Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Washington, where an insignificant individual
may trespass on a nation's time.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
Washington is a city of
Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
- John F. Kennedy
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It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington
Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
- George Washington
Fear of something is at the root of hate for others,
and hate within will eventually destroy the hater.
- George Washington Carver
There are a number of things wrong with Washington.
One of them is that everyone is too far from home.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Since new developments are
the products of a creative mind,
we must therefore stimulate and encourage
that type of mind in every way possible.
- George Washington Carver
Where there is no vision, there is no hope.
- George Washington Carver
Worry is the interest paid by those who borrow trouble.
- George Washington
Love is never lost. If not reciprocated,
it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.
- Washington Irving
When you can do the common things of life in an uncommon way,
you will command the attention of the world.
- George Washington Carver
Ninety-nine percent of the failures
come from people who have the habit of making excuses.
- George Washington Carver
If you love it enough, anything will talk with you.
- George Washington Carver
Nothing is more beautiful than the loveliness
of the woods before sunrise.
- George Washington Carver
Our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions
and not on our circumstances.
- Martha Washington
Success is to be measured not so much
by the position that one has reached in life
as by the obstacles which he has overcome.
- Booker T. Washington
Great minds have purposes others have wishes.
- Washington Irving
There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
They are messengers of overwhelming grief ...
and unspeakable love.
- Washington Irving
Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom.
- George Washington Carver
I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station,
through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.
- George Washington Carver
True friendship is a plant of slow growth.
- George Washington
There is no short cut to achievement.
Life requires thorough preparation -
veneer isn't worth anything.
- George Washington Carver
When our thoughts - which bring actions -
are filled with hate against anyone, Negro or white,
we are in a living hell.
That is as real as hell will ever be.
- George Washington Carver
No individual has any right to come into the world
and go out of it without leaving something behind.
- George Washington Carver
True friendship is a plant of slow growth,
and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity
before it is entitled to the appellation.
- George Washington
Reading about nature is fine, but if a person
walks in the woods and listens carefully,
he can learn more than what is in books,
for they speak with the voice of God.
- George Washington Carver
Learn to do common things uncommonly well;
we must always keep in mind that anything
that helps fill the dinner pail is valuable.
- George Washington Carver
The greater part of our happiness or misery
depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.
- Martha Washington
Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough.
Not only have I found that when I talk to the little flower
or to the little peanut they will give up their secrets,
but I have found that when I silently commune with people
they give up their secrets also - if you love them enough.
- George Washington Carver
How far you go in life depends on you being
tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged,
sympathetic with the striving
and tolerant of the weak and the strong.
Because someday in life you will have been all of these.
- George Washington Carver
I am determined to be cheerful and happy
in whatever situation I may find myself.
For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness
is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.
- Martha Washington
I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver
Our creator is the same and never changes
despite the names given Him by people here
and in all parts of the world.
Even if we gave Him no name at all,
He would still be there, within us,
waiting to give us good on this earth.
- George Washington Carver
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.