Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Stealing Quotes
Funny Quotes about Stealing

Let these funny Stealing Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her,
and after half an hour
I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
- the movie Take the Money and Run (1969)

In many ways, it is easier to be a good giver than a good receiver.
The giver chooses the gift and the timing.
More important, societal and religious traditions
tend to elevate the status of giver and lower the status of receiver.
When the Bible (Acts 20:32-35) speaks of it being
more blessed to give than to receive,
I believe that a better translation might be
"take" rather than "receive," as the context
of that passage is "coveting."
Certainly there is nothing blessed about coveting,
stealing, begging, or demanding,
however the skill of graciously receiving a freely offered gift
is another matter entirely.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
love leaves a memory no one can steal.
- From a headstone in Ireland


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Those you trust the most can steal the most.
- Lawrence Lief

The ugliest word in the world is revenge.
It spells hate; it spells fear; it spells greed.
For my loss, I must kill; I must steal - must avenge.
It's your fault; you must pay; you must bleed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Moon Cannot Be Stolen:
A thief entered the little hut of a Zen Master,
but discovered there was nothing to steal.
The Zen Master discovered the thief.
"You have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler,
"and you should not return empty-handed.
Please take my clothes as a gift."
The thief was bewildered,
but he took the clothes and slunk away.
The Zen Master sat naked, watching the moon.
"Poor fellow," he mused,
"I wish I could have given him this beautiful moon."
- Traditional Zen Koan


 

As we grow old, the beauty steals inward.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy

It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.
- Brigitte Bardot

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
- John Lennon

We don't stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
- George Bernard Shaw

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy

Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches,
letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.
- Pauline R. Kezer

The universe is full of magical things
patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
- Eden Phillpotts

Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong.
- Winston Churchill

If we don't change, we don't grow.
If we don't grow, we aren't really living.
- Gail Sheehy

Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being.
With freedom comes responsibility.
For the person who is unwilling to grow up,
the person who does not want to carry is own weight,
this is a frightening prospect.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I want it said of me by those who knew me best,
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
- Thomas Haynes Bayly

Overcome obstacles - grow and bloom anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People grow through experience
if they meet life honestly and courageously.
This is how character is built.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands.
One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
- Audrey Hepburn

The less I take the difficulties of my life as personal affront,
and the more I use them as an opportunity to learn and grow...
the easier I sleep at night.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Every blade of grass has an angel
that bends over it and whispers, "grow! grow!
- Talmud

As we grow as unique persons, we learn to respect
the uniqueness of others.
- Robert H. Schuller

Die when I may, I want it said by those who knew me best
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln

Love is the answer, and you know that for sure;
Love is a flower, you've got to let it grow.
- John Lennon

Great oaks from little acorns grow.
- Proverb

Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Unless you try to do something
beyond what you have already mastered,
you will never grow.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love those who can smile in trouble,
who can gather strength from distress,
and grow brave by reflection.
- Leonardo da Vinci

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best.
- William Arthur Ward

The solution to adult problems tomorrow
depends in large measure upon
how our children grow up today.
- Margaret Mead

I hope our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us,
that the less we use our power the greater it will be.
- Thomas Jefferson

The false can never grow into truth by growing in power.
- Rabindranath Tagore

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard

Absence does not make the heart grow fonder,
but it sure heats up the blood.
- Elizabeth Ashley

When we blindly adopt a religion,
a political system, a literary dogma,
we become automatons. We cease to grow.
- Anais Nin

Don't go through life - grow through life.
- Eric Butterworth

You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
- e. e. cummings

When will our consciences grow so tender
that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.
- Robert Browning

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

Today's acorns grow into the oak trees of thirty years hence.
But what acorns are we sowing today?
Imagine what an acorn-sized bit of prejudice or hatred would grow into.
Imagine what an acorn-sized bit of pollution can become.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A loving relationship is one in which
the loved one is free to be himself -
to laugh with me, but never at me;
to cry with me, but never because of me;
to love life, to love himself,
to love being loved.
Such a relationship is based upon freedom
and can never grow in a jealous heart.
- Leo F. Buscaglia

Action is the real measure of intelligence.
- Napoleon Hill (author of the classic Think and Grow Rich)

This country, with its institutions,
belongs to the people who inhabit it.
Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government,
they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it,
or exercise their revolutionary right to overthrow it.
- Abraham Lincoln

We do not grow absolutely, chronologically.
We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another, unevenly.
We grow partially. We are relative.
We are mature in one realm, childish in another.
- Anais Nin

Home is our sanctuary, where we:
relax into being ourselves,
play with our inner child,
paint the walls green and pink,
dig in the dirt,
grow something,
love somebody else,
love ourselves even more,
snuggle with a warm blanket on a Sunday afternoon,
hang "go away" on the door whenever we want,
clean and tidy often... or never,
launch from and return to,
are truly ourselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend."
We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older.
The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age
when a busy life and changing geographies
can cause us to neglect those friends.
Today is the day to invest in those people
we hope will call us "old friend" in the years to come.
- Grant Fairley

All my life I have tried to pluck a thistle and plant a flower
wherever the flower would grow in thought and mind.
- Abraham Lincoln

Men are what their mothers made them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.
- Jewish Proverb

The being of our mothers is forever branded onto our own being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau


Thank you for visiting: Funny Stealing Quotes - Funny Quotes about Stealing.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.