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Let these funny Rips Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Time is carnivorous.
Urgency rips the peaceful flesh from our bones.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We must use time wisely and forever realize
that the time is always ripe to do right.
- Nelson Mandela
It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.
- Brigitte Bardot
No greater thing is created suddenly,
any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig.
If you tell me that you desire a fig,
I answer you that there must be time.
Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.
- Epictetus
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Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
A moment without joy is an eternity of sadness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Regrets are the tears of good deeds left undone
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Human salvation lies in the hands
of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
- Albert Einstein
I am a self-centered spoiled-rotten brat,
Thank you for nurturing me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope
For all sad words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are these, "It might have been.
- John Greenleaf Whittier
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
- Swedish Proverb
Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton
There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson
When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Those who own much have much to fear.
- Rabindranath Tagore
What's done is done.
- William Shakespeare
I leave no trace of wings in the air,
but I am glad I have had my flight.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
Careers and relationships also have their cycles
of birth, growth, and death -
to be followed by rebirth and the renewal of the cycle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson
I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation
of confusion, misery and death...
I think... peace and tranquillity will return again.
- Anne Frank
Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker
Every parting gives a foretaste of death,
every reunion a hint of the resurrection.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with.
It responds like a snail to our impatience,
then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch a breath.
- the movie Simon Birch
The healthy man does not torture others -
generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.
- Carl Jung
If self-validation were our
most significant societal measure -
we would give trophies to ourselves.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest.
- Henry David Thoreau
Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy
between the genius and his human qualities
that one has to ask oneself whether
a little less talent might not have been better.
- Carl Jung
We are masters of the unsaid words,
but slaves of those we let slip out.
- Winston Churchill
Life is a Crazy-Quilt of Suffering and Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
And you would accept the seasons of your heart
just as you have always accepted
that seasons pass over your fields
and you would watch with serenity
through the winters of your grief.
- Khalil Gibran
Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
- Alexander Hamilton
To a philosopher all news,
as it is called, is gossip,
and they who edit and read it
are old women over their tea.
- Henry David Thoreau
The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives.
- Albert Schweitzer
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
as when they do it from religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal
He who sows hurry reaps indigestion.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
This too, shall pass.
- Bible
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.