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Let these funny Flesh Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Drop the sword - for there is but one flesh to wound,
and it is the one flesh of all humankind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made straight
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed
and all flesh shall see it together.
- Martin Luther King, Jr. 
Time is carnivorous.
Urgency rips the peaceful flesh from our bones.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is my own firm belief that the strength of the soul
grows in proportion as you subdue the flesh.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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In one drop of water are found all the secrets of all the oceans.
- Khalil Gibran
Individually, we are one drop.
Together, we are an ocean.
- Ryunosuke Satoro
Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
If you may count every drop of water in the ocean and
count every grain of sand in the sea -
multiply it by a thousand and that's how much I love you.
- George of Langkloof
A jug fills drop by drop.
- The Buddha
We ourselves feel that what we are doing
is just a drop in the ocean.
But the ocean would be less
because of that missing drop.
- Mother Teresa
Drop guilt! - because to be guilty is to live in hell.
Not being guilty, you will have the freshness
of dewdrops in the early morning sun,
you will have the freshness of lotus petals in the lake,
you will have the freshness of the stars in the night.
Once guilt disappears you will have
a totally different kind of life, luminous and radiant.
You will have a dance to your feet
and your heart will be singing a thousand and one songs.
- Osho
Zen says that if you drop knowledge -
and within knowledge everything is included;
your name, your identity, everything,
because this has been given to you by others -
if you drop all that has been given by others,
you will have a totally different quality to your being: innocence.
This will be a crucifixion of the persona, the personality,
and there will be a resurrection of your innocence.
You will become a child again, reborn.
- Osho
In this world, the greatest courage is to drop the mind aside.
The bravest man is who can see the world
without the barrier of the mind, just as it is.
It is tremendously different, utterly beautiful.
There is nobody who is inferior and there is nobody who is superior -
there are no distinctions.
- Osho
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn
Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.