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Let these funny Brigitte Bardot Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.
- Brigitte Bardot
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall 
I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
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It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
A moment without joy is an eternity of sadness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
For all sad words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are these, "It might have been.
- John Greenleaf Whittier
Regrets are the tears of good deeds left undone
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw
I am a self-centered spoiled-rotten brat,
Thank you for nurturing me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington
Human salvation lies in the hands
of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
- Albert Einstein
Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen
Those who own much have much to fear.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller
"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
I leave no trace of wings in the air,
but I am glad I have had my flight.
- Rabindranath Tagore
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
- Swedish Proverb
What's done is done.
- William Shakespeare
The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest.
- Henry David Thoreau
Misery nourishes your ego -
that's why you see so many miserable people in the world.
The basic, central point is the ego.
- Osho
Don't be dismayed by good-byes.
A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.
- Richard Bach
From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.
- Socrates
There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Life is like an onion:
you peel it off one layer at a time,
and sometimes you weep.
- Carl Sandburg
People do not like to think.
If one thinks, one must reach conclusions.
Conclusions are not always pleasant.
- Helen Keller
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live,
it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
- Oscar Wilde
He that is jealous is not in love.
- Saint Augustine
Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with..
- the movie Simon Birch
Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval -
a thing which, to the general run of the human race,
is more dreaded than wolves and death.
- Mark Twain
Stress is always waiting
just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache;
do be my enemy - for friendship's sake.
- William Blake
True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton
Ambition is like love,
impatient both of delays and rivals.
- The Buddha
Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung
Politeness is organized indifference.
- Paul Valery
Bodily decay is gloomy in prospect,
but of all human contemplations,
the most abhorrent is body without mind.
- Thomas Jefferson
He who trusts all things to chance,
makes a lottery of his life
- Proverb
Envy breeds hate.
- Yiddish Proverb
We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
In time we hate that which we often fear.
- William Shakespeare
For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.