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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Permitted Quotes
Funny Quotes about Permitted

Let these funny Permitted Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity
in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
- Albert Einstein

Peace and friendship with all mankind is our wisest policy,
and I wish we may be permitted to pursue it.
- Thomas Jefferson

We would like to live as we once lived,
but history will not permit it.
- John F. Kennedy

The pursuit of truth does not permit violence on one's opponent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


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Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind
a mental picture of yourself as succeeding.
Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade.
Your mind will seek to develop the picture...
Do not build up obstacles in your imagination.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Sweetest Lord, make me appreciative
of the dignity of my high vocation,
and its many responsibilities.
Never permit me to disgrace it by giving way
to coldness, unkindness, or impatience.
- Mother Teresa

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll

Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin

Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead

Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Chanting OM is sort of like MOOing backward.
- Anonymous

Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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