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Funny Mankind Quotes
Funny Quotes about Mankind

Let these funny Mankind Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.
- Albert Einstein

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz

The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation.
- Bertrand Russell


 

It is lamentable, that to be a good patriot one must
become the enemy of the rest of mankind.
- Voltaire

The forces that are driving mankind toward unity and
peace are deep-seated and powerful.
They are material and natural, as well as moral and intellectual.
- Arthur Henderson

It is astonishing with how little wisdom mankind can be governed,
when that little wisdom is its own.
- William Ralph Inge


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If people destroy something replaceable made by mankind,
they are called vandals; if they destroy something
irreplaceable made by God,
they are called developers.
- Joseph Wood Krutch

I abhor war and view it as the greatest scourge of mankind.
- Thomas Jefferson

History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes,
follies, and misfortunes of mankind.
- Edward Gibbon

We shall require a substantially
new manner of thinking
if mankind is to survive.
- Albert Einstein

Peace and friendship with all mankind is our wisest policy,
and I wish we may be permitted to pursue it.
- Thomas Jefferson

All mankind love a lover.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The proper study of mankind is the science of design.
- Herbert Simon

If we were to select the most intelligent,
imaginative, energetic, and emotionally stable third of mankind,
all races would be present.
- Franz Boas

Compassion, in which all ethics must take root,
can only attain its full breadth and depth
if it embraces all living creatures
and does not limit itself to mankind.
- Albert Schweitzer

Mankind must put an end to war
before war puts an end to mankind.
- John F. Kennedy

No illusion is more crucial than the illusion that
great success and huge money buy you immunity from
the common ills of mankind,
such as cars that won't start.
- Larry McMurtry

Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind.
It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction
devised by the ingenuity of man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Friendship is the only thing in the world
concerning the usefulness of which all mankind are agreed.
- Cicero

Only aim to do your duty,
and mankind will give you credit where you fail.
- Thomas Jefferson

All human beings are also dream beings.
Dreaming ties all mankind together.
- Jack Kerouac

Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life
are not only not indispensable,
but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind.
- Henry David Thoreau

Mankind are more disposed to suffer,
while evils are sufferable,
than to right themselves by abolishing
the forms to which they are accustomed.
- Thomas Jefferson

We peruse one ideal, that of bringing people together in peace,
irrespective of race, religion and political convictions,
for the benefit of mankind.
- Juan Antonio Samaranch

Mankind is considered (by the radical environmentalists)
the lowest and the meanest of all species and is blamed for everything.
- Dixie Lee Ray

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
- Mark Twain

This is one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.
- Neil Armstrong

It seems that every time mankind is given a lot of energy,
we go out and wreck something with it.
- David R. Brower

We have the power to make this the best generation of mankind
in the history of the world or to make it the last.
- John F. Kennedy

The good opinion of mankind,
like the lever of Archimedes,
with the given fulcrum, moves the world.
- Thomas Jefferson

Mankind is made great or little by its own will.
- Friedrich Schiller

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind;
the lawyer all the wickedness,
the theologian all the stupidity.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

The work of the individual still remains the spark
that moves mankind ahead even more than teamwork.
- Igor Sikorsky

I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound
to the starless midnight of racism and war
that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood
can never become a reality...
I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love
will have the final word.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Imagination has brought mankind through the dark ages
to its present state of civilization.
Imagination led Columbus to discover America.
Imagination led Franklin to discover electricity.
- L. Frank Baum

For many years, I have lived uncomfortably with the
belief that most planning and architectural design
suffers for lack of real and basic purpose.
The ultimate purpose, it seems to me,
must be the improvement of mankind.
- James Rouse

A man has generally the good or ill qualities,
which he attributes to mankind.
- William Shenstone

Sickness is mankind's greatest defect.
- Georg C. Lichtenberg

The march of invention has clothed mankind with powers
of which a century ago the boldest imagination could not have dreamt.
- Henry George

Mankind advances only through struggle.
- Gustav Stresemann

Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in
every stage of human history than any other single idea.
- Madalyn Murray O'Hair

Mankind are governed more by their feelings than by reason.
- Samuel Adams

Our true nationality is mankind.
- H. G. Wells

Only when every one of us and every nation learns the
secret of love for all mankind will the world become a great orchestra,
following the beat of the Greatest Conductor of all.
- Artur Rodzinski

We pray that henceforth not only Japan but all mankind
may know the blessings of harmony and progress.
- Shigeru Yoshida

There is a loftier ambition than merely to stand high in the world.
It is to stoop down and lift mankind a little higher.
- Henry Van Dyke

The republican is the only form of government which
is not eternally at open or secret war with the rights of mankind.
- Thomas Jefferson

Boredom is...
a vital problem for the moralist, since half the sins
of mankind are caused by the fear of it.
- Bertrand Russell

I take it that the good of mankind means the attainment,
by every man, of all the happiness which he can enjoy
without diminishing the happiness of his fellow men.
- Thomas Huxley

What helped me was I had people around me to remind
me to help my country even when it did me wrong,
have respect for my people, my family,
my nation and mankind.
- Alexis Arguello

A state arises, as I conceive, out of the needs of mankind;
no one is self-sufficing,
but all of us have many wants.
- Plato

The Earth is the cradle of humanity,
but mankind cannot stay in the cradle forever.
- Konstantin Tsiolkovsky

There is no short and easy road, no magic cure for
those ills which have afflicted mankind from the dawn of history.
- Frank B. Kellogg

For the first time in the history of mankind,
one generation literally has the power to destroy the past,
the present and the future, the power to bring time to an end.
- Hubert H. Humphrey

Comforts and syphilis are the greatest enemies of mankind.
- Alexis Carrel

I think I did every drug known to mankind,
smoked crack, boozed, dropped acid, you name it.
- Kid Rock

The histories of mankind are histories only of the higher classes.
- Thomas Malthus

Far more has been accomplished for the welfare and
progress of mankind by preventing bad actions than by doing good ones.
- William Lyon Mackenzie King

'Never again' is the rallying cry for all who believe
that mankind must speak out against genocide.
- Jon Corzine

Being in an area of the planet where scientists believe
mankind started is quite amazing.
- Jan de Bont

Of mankind we may say in general they are fickle,
hypocritical, and greedy of gain.
- Niccolo Machiavelli

I hesitate to predict whether this theory is true.
But if the general opinion of Mankind is optimistic
then we're in for a period of extreme popularity for science fiction.
- David Eddings

It's Microsoft versus mankind, with Microsoft having only a slight lead.
- Larry Ellison

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other.
- Edmund Burke

Boldness and decision command, often even in evil,
the respect and concurrence of mankind.
- Robert Dale Owen

A nation must be embraced, rehabilitated and expressed
as a tangible sign of human creativity and as an integral
element of mankind's heritage.
- Abdelaziz Bouteflika

Sensitive, responsive, eagerly welcomed everywhere,
the drama, holding the mirror up to nature,
by laughter and by tears reveals to mankind the world of men.
- George P. Baker

Black and white are the colors of photography.
To me they symbolize the alternatives of hope and despair
to which mankind is forever subjected.
- Robert Frank

Versatility of education can be found in our best poetry,
but the depth of mankind should be found in the philosopher.
- Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel

We should expect the best and the worst of mankind,
as from the weather.
- Marquis De Vauvenargues


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