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Let these funny Closes Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
When God closes a door, he opens a window.
- Anonymous
When one door closes, another opens.
But often we look so long, so regretfully,
upon the closed door,
that we fail to see the one that is opened for us.
- Helen Keller
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
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The jump is so frightening
between where I am,
and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become,
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II
Choose Inner Peace.
Nothing is worth losing your inner peace.
Take action as circumstances require,
but never surrender your inner peace.
Stop. Breathe deeply.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply again.
Then, and only then, take action -
from a peaceful heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Being angry is as close as a human being
can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can close more business in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie
Love is missing someone whenever you're apart,
but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.
- Kay Knudsen
Get up-close-and-personal:
Life looks different when you really get involved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't seek God in temples.
He is close to you.
He is within you.
Only you should surrender to Him
and you will rise above happiness and unhappiness.
- Leo Tolstoy
Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
ANYONE may become a revealer of Truth
who lives in close contact with the indwelling God.
- Ernest Holmes
Study nature, love nature,
stay close to nature. It will never fail you.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Friends are like bras:
close to your heart and there for support.
- Anonymous
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.
- Flora Whittemore
Keep close to Nature's heart...
and break clear away, once in awhile,
and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods.
Wash your spirit clean.
- John Muir
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up.
- Thomas Edison
Manage the remarkable balance between acting
from your heart and close to your gifts
with completing the obligations
that your labor and tasks require of you.
Leverage opportunity AND seize joy.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.
- Lao Tzu
I feel the same way about solitude as some people
feel about the blessing of the church.
It's the light of grace for me.
I never close my door behind me without the awareness
that I am carrying out an act of mercy toward myself.
- Peter Hoeg
Move to your heart, Breathe.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply - slowly -
fill your lungs with love and gratitude -
exhale each and every trouble -
again and again - gratitude in, troubles out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Release your burdens - your fears, regrets,
guilts, shames, embarrassments, angers.
One by one, pick up each memory or fear that troubles you,
hold it close, and release it to the Universe.
Release each incident from your past that still bothers you.
Release each fear - your fears about your health,
your family, your job, and every other fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our loved ones -
whether by blood, by marriage, or by choice -
are delicate treasures.
If we hold them too close, they break -
as a butterfly would.
By honoring and enjoying
the freedom of our loved ones,
we gain our own freedom.
Have the courage to trust that
the beautiful butterflies of your life
will return - or not - as life intends.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Perspective:
Do you always look at life from the same point-of-view?
Consider viewing a situation as another might view it.
Look from behind, underneath, from the distant heavens.
View the situation as someone of a different religion,
race, or nationality might view it.
Pretend you are an alien from a distant galaxy -
that should be good for a laugh.
Troubles only appear troubling to those close to them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is remarkable how closely the history of the apple tree
is connected with that of man.
- Henry David Thoreau
In business or in life, don't follow the wagon tracks too closely.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Look closely... See with new eyes...
Don't just pass by what is familiar without a thought.
Pay attention and look closely.
There is beauty - there is discovery -
there in a whole new world hiding
beneath the face of the familiar.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
He who can no longer pause to wonder
and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead;
his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein
The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The worst prison would be a closed heart.
- Pope John Paul II
A closed mind is like a closed book;
just a block of wood.
- Chinese proverb
Be avid.
Create apart from perfection.
Risk failure.
Cover your words with sweat.
Run a little
Touch excruciatingly.
Laugh until you cry.
Dance with your eyes closed.
Care.
Understand you die a little in every moment.
Be Enlivened
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The time comes upon every public man
when it is best for him to keep his lips closed.
- Abraham Lincoln
The moment you become miserly you are closed
to the basic phenomenon of life: expansion, sharing.
The moment you start clinging to things,
you have missed the target.
Because things are not the target,
you, your innermost being, is the target -
not a beautiful house, but a beautiful you;
not much money, but a rich you;
not many things, but an open being,
available to millions of things.
- Osho
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of all true art and all science.
He to whom this emotion is a stranger,
who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein
If I were to try to read, much less answer,
all the attacks made on me,
this shop might as well be closed for any other business.
- Abraham Lincoln
Everyone is a genius at least once a year;
a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg
Joy's smile is much closer to tears than laughter.
- Victor Hugo
Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before,
but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God.
- Ram Dass
He who knows nothing is closer to the truth
than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods and errors.
- Thomas Jefferson
Believe that none of the effort you put
into coming closer to God is ever wasted -
even if in the end you don't achieve
what you are striving for.
- Rebbe Nachman of Breslov
USE this time of fresh beginnings.
Use it as an impetus, the force or energy toward change.
Become stronger, a better leader, more focused in your thoughts.
Exert more influence over your dreams
by bringing them closer to your thoughts, every day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Gratitude is an attitude that
hooks us up to our source of supply.
And the more grateful you are,
the closer you become to your maker,
to the architect of the universe,
to the spiritual core of your being.
- Bob Proctor
Nature will bear the closest inspection.
She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf,
and take an insect view of its plain.
- Henry David Thoreau
Love begins by taking care of the closest ones -
the ones at home.
- Mother Teresa
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
When true friends meet in adverse hour,
'Tis like a sunbeam through a shower.
A watery way an instant seen,
The darkly closing clouds between.
- Sir Walter Scott
This [the Holocaust] must never happen again. ...
Be vigilant about your rights.
Care about the rights and human dignity of others.
When the rights of any group, no matter how small,
no matter how marginal, are violated,
your liberty, your freedom is put at risk.
Let there never be a day when we cast about in horror
and have to ask the question, "How did it ever come to this?"
- Thomas Childers, Ph.D., Professor of History,
University of Pennsylvania, in the closing remarks
of his six-hour Teaching Company audio lecture series
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.