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Funny Catastrophe Quotes
Funny Quotes about Catastrophe

Let these funny Catastrophe Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein

Feeling good about government is like looking on the
bright side of any catastrophe.
When you quit looking on the bright side,
the catastrophe is still there.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Human history becomes more and more a race between
education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells

This was truly guerilla filmmaking.
We shot out in the middle of nowhere in a place called Delta Flats,
where basically every day was some new minor catastrophe.
- Jeri Ryan


 

Life improves slowly and goes wrong fast,
and only catastrophe is clearly visible.
- Edward Teller

We see an extensive program of dismantling state institutions...
These are ingredients for catastrophe.
- Iyad Allawi

The notion that one will not survive a particular catastrophe is,
in general terms, a comfort since it is equivalent
to abolishing the catastrophe.
- Iris Murdoch


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We have been terrorised by what happened in America
and we express our condolences to the American people
who suffered from this unexpected catastrophe and a new world war.
- Muammar al-Gaddafi

It's sort of well-known that anytime any catastrophe
happens anywhere in the world,
they can count on the United States for help.
- Morgan Freeman

If left unchecked, global change will create violent conflict,
torrential storms, shrinking coastlines,
and irreversible catastrophe.
- Valerie Jarrett

History: the category of human phenomena which tends to catastrophe.
- Jules Romains

The world has closed its eyes to the humanitarian catastrophe in Azerbaijan,
where every seventh citizen is a refugee.
- Leonid Kuchma

A hundred times have I thought New York is a catastrophe and 50 times:
It is a beautiful catastrophe.
- Le Corbusier

I was a catastrophe at Science and Games,
but the good thing about Quaker schools is that they
encourage you in those subjects for which you show an aptitude.
- Richard Rodney Bennett

The term clinical depression finds its way into too
many conversations these days.
One has a sense that a catastrophe has occurred in the psychic landscape.
- Leonard Cohen

The economy in Ireland has been rampaging ahead for the last 15 years.
Barring an international, political or natural catastrophe,
things can only get better for the Irish.
- Eddie Murphy

One approaches the journey's end.
But the end is a goal, not a catastrophe.
- George Sand

The sense of national catastrophe is inevitably heightened in a television age,
when the whole country participates in it.
- R. W. Apple, Jr.

If some great catastrophe is not announced every morning,
we feel a certain void.
Nothing in the paper today, we sigh.
- Lord Acton

History is a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells

Anything in history or nature that can be described
as changing steadily can be seen as heading toward catastrophe.
- Susan Sontag

Rulers do not reduce taxes to be kind.
Expediency and greed create high taxation,
and normally it takes an impending catastrophe to bring it down.
- Charles Adams

When a man meets catastrophe on the road,
he looks in his purse, but a woman looks in her mirror.
- Margaret Turnbull

No connection between Iraq and the 9/11 catastrophe.
- Richard Ben-Veniste

Congress should be forward thinking in the policies we set,
instead of waiting until catastrophe looms.
- Bill Frist

Success is not built on success.
It's built on failure.
It's built on frustration.
Sometimes its built on catastrophe.
- Sumner Redstone

Perhaps catastrophe is the natural human environment,
and even though we spend a good deal of energy trying to get away from it,
we are programmed for survival amid catastrophe.
- Germaine Greer

The German Emperor is ageing me; he is like a battleship
with steam up and screws going,
but with no rudder, and he will run into something
some day and cause a catastrophe.
- Edward Grey

As a result of the historic catastrophe in which Titus
of Rome destroyed Jerusalem and Israel was exiled from its land,
I was born in one of the cities of the Exile.
- Shmuel Y. Agnon

That was for instance the case in Mocambique a couple of years ago,
during the flooding catastrophe.
Instead of co-ordinating assistance properly,
to much time and resources was spent on fighting about
the same helicopters and local guides.
- Anna Lindh

All sensible Army people turned gas warfare down as
being utterly insane since,
in view of your superiority in the air,
it would not be long before it would bring the most
terrible catastrophe upon German cities,
which were completely unprotected.
- Albert Speer

Catastrophes are often stimulated by the failure to
feel the emergence of a domain,
and so what cannot be felt in the imagination is experienced
as embodied sensation in the catastrophe.
- William Irwin Thompson

The concern around probable questions,
which in a sense have been hidden, will grow around
the world and the matter is critical,
the reason we are doing all this is so we can respond
correctly to what is reported to be a major catastrophe
on the African continent.
- Thabo Mbeki

I would be very happy to see 3.5 billion humans wiped
out from the face of the earth within the next 150
or 200 years and I am quite prepared to go myself with this majority...
let us all look forward to the day when the catastrophe strikes us down!
- John Aspinall

Obama sounded like Al Gore on global warming.
The more the case for man-made warming falls apart,
the more hysterical Gore gets about an imminent catastrophe.
The more public support his stimulus bill loses,
the more Obama embraces fear-mongering.
- Fred Barnes

We don't want to go back to the same policies and the
same practices that drove our economy into a ditch,
that punished the middle class, and that led us to this catastrophe.
We have to keep moving forward.
- David Axelrod

I saw clearly how those who saved the state so heroically
and courageously in the War of Independence would be
capable of bringing a catastrophe upon it if they are
given the chance in normal times.
- Moshe Sharett

As a rule, anyone who can tell a good story can write one,
so there really need be no mistake about his qualification;
such a man will be careful not to be wearisome,
and to keep his point, or his catastrophe,
well in hand.
- James Payn

In the Atlantean period there were many energies being
used and information and knowledge being used which were,
for particular reasons of safety, withdrawn,
shall we say, to prevent complete catastrophe,
to prevent total destruction of your planet.
- David Icke

Well, our concern has to do with the period prior to 9/11,
up to and including the catastrophe that occurred.
And thank goodness, we're not obliged to make assessments
of what's going on now and deal with these current events.
- Richard Ben-Veniste

War is a series of catastrophes which result in victory.
- Albert Pike

One of the privileges of the great is to witness catastrophes from a terrace.
- Jean Giraudoux

Science fiction writers foresee the inevitable,
and although problems and catastrophes may be inevitable,
solutions are not.
- Isaac Asimov

Plant diseases, drought, desolation,
despair were recurrent catastrophes during the ages -
and the ancient remedies: supplications to supernatural spirits or gods.
- Norman Borlaug

The happiness of most people is not ruined by great
catastrophes or fatal errors,
but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.
- Ernest Dimnet

AIDS occupies such a large part in our awareness because
of what it has been taken to represent.
It seems the very model of all the catastrophes privileged
populations feel await them.
- Susan Sontag

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes,
but don't try selling sunshine and light -
you'll go broke.
- Chuck Jones

The military has been tremendously important in the
past during catastrophes and in protecting the population.
But it shouldn't become an auxiliary police force.
- Otto Schily

The recent past always presents itself as if destroyed by catastrophes.
- Theodor Adorno

It's not catastrophes, murders, deaths,
diseases, that age and kill us; it's the way people look and laugh,
and run up the steps of omnibuses.
- Virginia Woolf

Great breakthroughs are always followed by great catastrophes.
- Rosalia de Castro

War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory.
- Georges Clemenceau

Have you noticed that life, with murders and catastrophes
and fabulous inheritances,
happens almost exclusively in newspapers?
- Jean Anouilh

Shakespeare very rarely makes the least attempt to
surprise by his catastrophes.
They are felt to be inevitable, though the precise
way in which they will be brought about is not,
of course, foreseen.
- Andrew Coyle Bradley

Sometimes you're not even sure which of your stories were failures.
There are things I've written that I thought were complete
catastrophes when I finished with them that have gone
on to generate some of my most positive feedback.
- Len Wein

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering

There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart

If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter

When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore


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