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Let these funny Changed Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly,
usually for the same reason.
- Anonymous
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A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Knowledge is soon changed, then lost in the mist, an echo half-heard.
- Gene Wolfe
Prayer is not asking for what you think you want,
but asking to be changed in ways you can't imagine.
- Kathleen Norris
A policy is a temporary creed liable to be changed,
but while it holds good
it has got to be pursued with apostolic zeal.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The inherent nature of God
is not changed by our individual beliefs,
our religious institutions,
or our communal traditions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If there is anything that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it and see whether it is
not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- Carl Jung
Time has been transformed, and we have changed;
it has advanced and set us in motion;
it has unveiled its face,
inspiring us with bewilderment and exhilaration.
- Khalil Gibran
Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Memorial Day remains one of America's
most cherished patriotic observances.
The spirit of this day has not changed -
it remains a day to honor those who
died defending our freedom and democracy.
- Doc Hastings
That's what learning is, after all;
not whether we lose the game,
but how we lose and h
ow we've changed because of it
and what we take away from it
that we never had before,
to apply to other games.
Losing, in a curious way, is winning.
- Richard Bach
Tonight, late, when I'm still not done with the day
but must comply with sleep,
I can whisper, "There was done a little good today.
Today I changed myself and the world, just a little.
And yes, I loved." Most days, that is enough.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
We must become the change we wish to see in the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead
Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
We must be the change we wish to see.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
He who rejects change is the architect of decay.
- Harold Wilson
Life's a bitch... and then you change your attitude.
- Jennifer Unlimited
Goes the song, "we change, we change."
But the music is still mine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The mind has exactly the same power as the hands:
not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
- Colin Wilson
If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill
Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky
If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein
Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall
No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis
The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell
The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Change always comes bearing gifts.
- Price Pritchett
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau
The inherent nature of life is constant change.
To fear change is to fear life itself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain
I welcome change as a great adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)
Without change, there would be no butterflies.
- Anonymous
Nothing endures but change.
- Heraclitus
It is not the strongest of the species that survive,
nor the most intelligent,
but the one most responsive to change.
- Charles Darwin
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
The world moves, and ideas that were
once good are not always good.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
What old people say you cannot do,
you try and find that you can.
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau
You change your life by changing your heart.
- Max Lucado
If the only tool you have is a hammer,
you tend to see every problem as a nail.
- Abraham Maslow
The dream you are living is your creation.
It is your perception of reality that you can change at any time.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Hardly a man in the world has an opinion
upon morals, political, or religion
which he got otherwise than
through his associations and sympathies.
- Mark Twain
When you are reluctant to change,
think of the beauty of autumn.
- V. B. Brown
Progress is impossible without change,
and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
- George Bernard Shaw
Change what you see,
by changing how you see.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you don't like something, change it,
If you can't change it, change your attitude
- Maya Angelou
Change of any sort requires courage.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
To improve is to change;
to be perfect is to change often.
- Winston Churchill
Change is the essential process of all existence.
- Spock character in Star Trek
Change your thoughts, change your life.
- James Allen
I was taught that the way of progress
is neither swift nor easy.
- Marie Curie
I have accepted fear as a part of life -
specifically the fear of change...
I have gone ahead despite the pounding
in the heart that says: turn back.
- Erica Jong
You can't move so fast that you try to change
the mores faster than people can accept it.
That doesn't mean you do nothing,
but it means that you do the things that
need to be done according to priority.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The greatest discovery of any generation
is that a human being
can alter his life by
altering his attitude
- William James
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to waste and destroy.
- Henri de Lubac
We see what we ASSUME we will see.
If you believe the world is evil, you will see evil.
If you believe the world is good, you will see good.
To change how life looks, change how you see life -
change your expectations of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What is it about sameness that so draws me,
and how could I begin to have
that same kind of attraction to change?
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The most effective way to cope with change
is to help create it.
- L. W. Lynett
We must let go of the life we have planned,
so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.
- Joseph Campbell
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.