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Let these funny Astonishment Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Anthropology demands the open-mindedness
with which one must look and listen,
record in astonishment
and wonder that which one would not have been able to guess.
- Margaret Mead
Say NO to the demands of the world.
Say YES to the longings of your own heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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The more you expect, the more you get disappointed in life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The timid man yearns for full value and demands a tenth.
The bold man strikes for double value and compromises on par.
- Mark Twain
I say NO to the demands of the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love demands infinitely less than friendship.
- George Jean Nathan
Success demands singleness of purpose.
- Vince Lombardi
Experience demands that man is
the only animal which devours his own kind,
for I can apply no milder term to
the general prey of the rich on the poor.
- Thomas Jefferson
Pity may represent little more
than the impersonal concern
which prompts the mailing of a check,
but true sympathy is the personal concern
which demands the giving of one's soul.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I am open to receiving the generous gifts of Spirit.
I hold no expectations or demands on the form, the timing,
or the color of the wrapping on the bountiful gifts of Spirit
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Only one who devotes himself to a cause
with his whole strength and soul
can be a true master.
For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
- Albert Einstein
The law of sacrifice is uniform throughout the world.
To be effective it demands the sacrifice
of the bravest and the most spotless.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Be clear that expectations are demands.
Demanding that life turn out the way we prefer
is a sure path to disappointment and suffering.
Happiness lies in having no expectations,
and accepting life as it comes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Battles are won by slaughter and maneuver.
The greater the general, the more he contributes in maneuver,
the less he demands in slaughter.
- Winston Churchill
The secret to a joyful life is Simplicity -
saying NO to the latest this and the most glamorous that -
saying NO to chasing an overly-demanding career -
saying NO to the stressful demands upon your time and energy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Each of us is burdened by an unlimited number of
expectations (demands) that we hold for the actions of others.
We "know" that there is a right way to do things,
and are often outraged when our expectations are not met.
Usually, we are unaware that we merely
have a strong opinion and point-of-view,
and are sure that we know how everything is supposed to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never do anything against conscience
even if the state demands it.
- Albert Einstein
Look at this butterfly, so beautiful, so delicate.
I can enjoy this butterfly from a distance,
but if I touched her, she would die.
While not quite as delicate as butterflies,
people also need private space and private time
away from the demands of the world -
even away from the attentions of those
with whom they are most bonded.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you.
Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires.
Love imposes no demands.
Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand - "Make me feel whole."
Love expands beyond the limits of two people.
Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.
- Deepak Chopra in The Path to Love
I, with a deeper instinct,
choose a man who compels my strength,
who makes enormous demands on me,
who does not doubt my courage or my toughness,
who does not believe me naive or innocent,
who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
- Anais Nin
Overwhelm is not a pleasant condition.
The to-do list overflows,
the deadlines appear imminent and immovable.
There are too many demands upon too little of your time.
Does this sound familiar?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving.
I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.
- William J. Clinton
I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Whatever you do, do with kindness.
Whatever you say, say with kindness.
Wherever you go, radiate kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
- Elbert Hubbard
You see things and you say, Why?
But I dream things that never were and say, Why not
- George Bernard Shaw
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel
What old people say you cannot do,
you try and find that you can.
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau
It's work only if I say it's work,
but it's play if I say it's fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
A man never knows how to say goodbye;
a woman never knows when to say it.
- Helen Rowland
Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Deep in my heart I'm concealing things
that I'm longing to say.
Scared to confess what I'm feeling -
frightened you'll slip away.
- the movie Evita
The big question is whether you are going to be able
to say a hearty yes to your adventure.
- Joseph Campbell
Everything you say and do,
is a reflection of the inner you.
- Anonymous
A good-bye is never painful unless
you're never going to say hello again.
- Anonymous
When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon
Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous
Nothing others do is because of you.
What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.
- don Miguel Ruiz
We are injured and hurt emotionally,
not so much by other people
or what they say and don't say,
but by our own attitude and our own response.
- Maxwell Maltz
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life is a nurturing mother,
when you just remember to say "thank you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Humans are allergic to change.
They love to say, "We've always done it this way."
- Grace Hopper
We disrespect ourselves and our free-will
whenever we say that we NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say,
but what we are unable to say.
- Anais Nin
I say to you quite frankly that
the time for racial discrimination is over.
- Jimmy Carter
The wicked leader is he who the people despise.
The good leader is he who the people revere.
The great leader is he who the people say, "We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu
Instead of worrying about what people say of you,
why not spend time trying to accomplish
something they will admire.
- Dale Carnegie
Nothing I say can explain to you Divine Love
Yet all of creation cannot seem to stop talking about it.
- Rumi
To say "too busy" is merely
to say "confused priorities."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are what you do, not what you say you'll do.
- Carl Jung
Whenever I look in the mirror,
I say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca
We get to CHOOSE the meaning for our lives.
Our lives mean exactly what we say they do - no more, no less.
Each of us chooses their path in life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
- Zig Ziglar
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.