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Let these funny Appetites Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
When we hate our enemies, we are
giving them power over us:
power over our sleep, our appetites,
our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Our enemies would dance with joy if only
they knew how they were worrying us,
lacerating us, and getting even with us!
Our hate is not hurting them at all,
but our hate is turning our own days
and nights into a hellish turmoil.
- Dale Carnegie
I get bored very easily, ...
I have a voracious appetite and I do not feel alive
if I'm repeating something I'm good at.
So I'm always looking for new challenges.
- Jewel
I am bored with it all.
- Winston Churchill
Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard
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If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz
For those who are bored with life,
the path to happiness almost always comes
through service to the less-fortunate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
The future ain't what it used to be.
- Yogi Berra
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
The world's mental.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
- Winston Churchill
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Gossip is the art of saying nothing
in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain
I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.