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Funny Sleep Quotes
Funny Quotes about Sleep

Let these funny Sleep Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen

It would be insane for me to
lose sleep over the opinions of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I tremble for my country when I reflect that God
is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.
- Thomas Jefferson

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
- E. Joseph Cossman

Cry for the souls of the angry,
for they sleep the troubled sleep of the damned.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy


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Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Sleep is the best meditation.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

There was never a child so lovely
but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The less I take the difficulties of my life as personal affront,
and the more I use them as an opportunity to learn and grow...
the easier I sleep at night.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

A poet's work is to name the unnameable,
to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments,
shape the world, and stop it going to sleep.
- Salman Rushdie

Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night.
- St.
Jerome

Those who have compared our life to a dream were right...
we were sleeping wake, and waking sleep.
- Michel de Montaigne

Cats have it all - admiration, an endless sleep,
and company only when they want it.
- Rod McKuen

A man can do only what he can do.
But if he does that each day he can sleep at night
and do it again the next day.
- Albert Schweitzer

As a well-spent day brings happy sleep,
so a life well spent brings happy death.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
- Fran Lebowitz

The main facts in human life are five:
birth,
food, sleep, love and death.
- E. M. Forster

A well-spent day brings happy sleep.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I am accustomed to sleep and in my dreams to imagine
the same things that lunatics imagine when awake.
- Rene Descartes

My philosophy from day one is that I can sleep better
at night if I can improve an individual's knowledge about food and wine,
and do it on a daily basis.
- Emeril Lagasse

We want to take good tidings home to our people,
that they may sleep in peace.
- Black Kettle

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens
to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
- Doug Larson

True silence is the rest of the mind,
and is to the spirit what sleep is to the body,
nourishment and refreshment.
- William Penn

The world of men is dreaming, it has gone mad in its sleep,
and a snake is strangling it, but it can't wake up.
- David Herbert Lawrence

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them.
- Victor Hugo

My mother gets all mad at me if I stay in a hotel.
I'm 31-years-old, and I don't want to sleep on a sleeping
bag down in the basement.
It's humiliating.
- Ben Affleck

It is a common experience that a problem difficult
at night is resolved in the morning after the committee
of sleep has worked on it.
- John Steinbeck

A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep,
and there comes a time when it is wrong,
as well as useless, to resist.
- Stewart Alsop

In the midst of these hard times it is our good health
and good sleep that are enjoyable.
- Knute Nelson

Never hurry.
Take plenty of exercise.
Always be cheerful.
Take all the sleep you need.
You may expect to be well.
- James Freeman Clarke

The minute anyone's getting anxious I say,
You must eat and you must sleep.
They're the two vital elements for a healthy life.
- Francesca Annis

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone.
To put her to sleep, I have to sing "Maria" from West Side Story.
When I hear her snoring, I hang up.
- Adam Sandler

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
- William Butler Yeats

There is no evil and there are
no evil forces in the world.
There are only people of awareness,
and there are people who are fast asleep -
and sleep has no force.
The whole energy is in the hands of the awakened people.
And one awakened person can awaken the whole world.
One lighted candle can make millions of candles lighted
without losing it's light.
- Osho

Tonight, late, when I'm still not done with the day
but must comply with sleep,
I can whisper, "There was done a little good today.
Today I changed myself and the world, just a little.
And yes, I loved." Most days, that is enough.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We all dream; we do not understand our dreams,
yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds,
strange at least by comparison with the logical,
purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake.
- Erich Fromm

When we hate our enemies, we are
giving them power over us:
power over our sleep, our appetites,
our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Our enemies would dance with joy if only
they knew how they were worrying us,
lacerating us, and getting even with us!
Our hate is not hurting them at all,
but our hate is turning our own days
and nights into a hellish turmoil.
- Dale Carnegie

Plants that wake when others sleep.
Timid jasmine buds that keep their fragrance to themselves all day,
but when the sunlight dies away let the delicious secret
out to every breeze that roams about.
- Thomas Moore

Far too often animals are put to sleep when they could
be saved through proper care and nursing.
- Louis Leakey

Forget romantic fiction, a survey has found that most
women would rather read a good book than go shopping,
have sex, or sleep.
- Janet Street-Porter

I have heard repeated stories of meth users leaving
their children unattended for days as they cook,
use and then sleep off the intense effects of methamphetamine.
- Rick Larsen

Sleep is good, death is better; but of course,
the best thing would to have never been born at all.
- Heinrich Heine

My faith has no bed to sleep upon but omnipotence.
- Samuel Rutherford

Getting plenty of sleep is always great.
It really is.
I have a girlfriend who's sending me a slant board.
- Bernadette Peters

But for the first time in many years,
I get to sleep in my own bed every night.
I haven't done that, literally, in years.
It seems like such a small thing, but it is so nice.
- Linda Vester

I shall now proceed to my own experience,
which hath truly convinced me, the Lord is awakened as one out of sleep;
and the voice of the Lord will shake terribly the earth.
- Joanna Southcott

As I go to sleep I remember what my father said-that
one can never be sure if one will awake.
The way my health is now, this is becoming more and more real.
- Jerzy Kosinski

When I'm trying to go to sleep and there are little noises,
like a clock ticking or a fan squeaking,
it drives me completely insane.
- James Lafferty

My worst habit is whistling while I sleep.
- Billy Boyd

It's hard 'coz you have got different time zones;
you can't sleep and y'know,
it's boring way for the show to happen,
but you do off the stage.
Y'know, onstage it's all better.
- Kerry King

When I was a kid, I'd kneel down at the side of my
bed every night before I went to sleep,
and my mother and I would say a Greek prayer to the Virgin Mary.
- Olympia Dukakis

You get three hours' sleep and then you start all over again.
Relentless.
Pre-production was almost harder than filming.
I was all over the city every day.
It was really exhausting.
- Ed Harris

Guys would sleep with a bicycle if it had the right color lip gloss on.
They have no shame.
They're like bull elks in a field.
- Tori Amos

I respect people who can do both careers,
like Will Smith and a couple of other people who have done it,
but I just don't know when they sleep.
- Val Kilmer

I couldn't sleep for two years, they tried to break my nerves.
They used a lot of psychology to brainwash.
- Mordechai Vanunu

Death is the veil which those who live call life;
They sleep,
and it is lifted.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying.
It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep.
- Dale Carnegie

Oscar Wilde said the rich and the poor are equal -
they can both sleep under the bridge.
Right? Do they have a right? You're damn right they have a right!
- Al Lewis

Childhood is the sleep of reason.
- Jean Jacques Rousseau

In some parts of Ireland the sleep which knows no waking
is always followed by a wake which knows no sleeping.
- Mary Wilson Little

Man is firmly convinced that he is awake;
in reality he is caught in a net of sleep and dreams
which he has unconsciously woven himself.
- Gustave Meyrink

You can't stay married in a situation where you are
afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat.
- Mike Tyson

You sleep with people all the time that you hate.
- Casey Affleck

All through the night, like the tumult of a river when
it races between the cliffs of a canyon,
in my sleep I could hear the steady roar of the passing army.
- Richard Harding Davis

My first two books are out of print and,
okay, they can sleep there comfortably.
It's early work, derivative work.
- Mary Oliver

Dream research is a wonderful field.
All you do is sleep for a living.
- Stephen LaBerge

But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep,
and miles to go before I sleep.
- Robert Frost

No place is boring, if you've had a good night's sleep
and have a pocket full of unexposed film.
- Robert Adams

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.
- Robert Frost


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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