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Let these funny Afternoons Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Cloud Animals: Be a Child Again.
I remember warm summer afternoons,
laying in the shade of a maple tree in the back yard
of my Connecticut home watching the clouds for hours.
As those clouds formed dragons and foxes, clowns and angels,
I traveled across space and time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Millions long for immortality
who don't know what to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
- Susan Ertz
In my afternoon walk I would fain forget
all my morning occupations and my obligations to society.
- Henry David Thoreau
Leave all the afternoon for exercise and recreation,
which are as necessary as reading.
I will rather say more necessary
because health is worth more than learning.
- Thomas Jefferson
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We should live our lives as though
Christ were coming this afternoon.
- Jimmy Carter
Home is our sanctuary, where we:
relax into being ourselves,
play with our inner child,
paint the walls green and pink,
dig in the dirt,
grow something,
love somebody else,
love ourselves even more,
snuggle with a warm blanket on a Sunday afternoon,
hang "go away" on the door whenever we want,
clean and tidy often... or never,
launch from and return to,
are truly ourselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Guys are like stars, there are millions of them,
but only one to make your dreams come true.
- Anonymous
The man who has won millions at the cost of his conscience is a failure.
- B. C. Forbes
There is no evil and there are
no evil forces in the world.
There are only people of awareness,
and there are people who are fast asleep -
and sleep has no force.
The whole energy is in the hands of the awakened people.
And one awakened person can awaken the whole world.
One lighted candle can make millions of candles lighted
without losing it's light.
- Osho
The greatest challenge ...
is not the exploring of the mysteries of the outer space,
but the developing of the millions of God's forgotten children,
the developing peoples of the world,
so they can become our equal
and full partners to build a better world -
a world of freedom and brotherhood.
- Jimmy Yen
The moment you become miserly you are closed
to the basic phenomenon of life: expansion, sharing.
The moment you start clinging to things,
you have missed the target.
Because things are not the target,
you, your innermost being, is the target -
not a beautiful house, but a beautiful you;
not much money, but a rich you;
not many things, but an open being,
available to millions of things.
- Osho
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
Chanting OM is sort of like MOOing backward.
- Anonymous
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield
Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
It's like deja-vu, all over again.
- Yogi Berra
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin
Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead
I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous
Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.