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One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll
Take care of the sense
and the sounds will take care of themselves.
- Lewis Carroll
Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll
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Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be;
and if it were so, it would be;
but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.
- Lewis Carroll
His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll
Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll
Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll
If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)
Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love that makes the world go round.
- Lewis Carroll
"Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely,
"and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
- Lewis Carroll
Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll
There comes a pause, for human strength will not endure
to dance without cessation;
and everyone must reach the point at length of absolute prostration.
- Lewis Carroll
One of the secrets of life is that
all that is really worth the doing
is what we do for others.
- Lewis Carroll
While the laughter of joy is in
full harmony with our deeper life,
the laughter of amusement
should be kept apart from it.
The danger is too great of thus learning
to look at solemn things in a spirit of mockery,
and to seek in them opportunities for exercising wit.
- Lewis Carroll
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot
A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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