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Let these funny Wage Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It is not enough to say we must not wage war.
It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Not paying a just wage, not giving work,
only because one is looking at the bottom line,
at the budget of the company, seeking only profit -
that is against God.
- Pope Francis
Modern cynics and skeptics... see no harm in paying those
to whom they entrust the minds of their children
a smaller wage than is paid to those to whom
they entrust the care of their plumbing.
- John F. Kennedy
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
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Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.