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Let these funny Utilities Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Flowers... are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty
out-values all the utilities of the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The architect should strive continually to simplify;
the ensemble of the rooms should then be carefully considered
that comfort and utility may go hand in hand with beauty.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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An architect's most useful tools are
an eraser at the drafting board,
and a wrecking bar at the site.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
He who rejects change is the architect of decay.
- Harold Wilson
Each man is the architect of his own fate.
- Appius Claudius
Gratitude is an attitude that
hooks us up to our source of supply.
And the more grateful you are,
the closer you become to your maker,
to the architect of the universe,
to the spiritual core of your being.
- Bob Proctor
Every great architect is - necessarily - a great poet.
He must be a great original interpreter
of his time, his day, his age.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The architect must be a prophet...
a prophet in the true sense of the term...
if he can't see at least ten years ahead don't call him an architect.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A great architect is not made by way of a brain
nearly so much as he is made by way
of a cultivated, enriched heart.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
Trust:
Perhaps you trust your doctor,
your lawyer, your boss - perhaps not.
Perhaps you trust in a "Higher Power" - perhaps you don't.
Trust is something that we become aware of in unusual situations,
such as a once-in-a-lifetime ride on a zip-line,
but most of the time, we become oblivious
to the trust we have, or don't have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Many of us have been conditioned to trust others' opinions
more than our own, and I believe that sort of trust is excessive.
This is especially true with regard to authority figures -
doctors, lawyers, priests. I trust my doctor's intentions toward me,
but I don't blindly follow his suggestions
without checking other sources also.
He was trained to prescribe a pill for everything,
and does it with the best of intentions,
but I often choose to trust God's quiet voice inside me
rather than my doctor's medical advice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I wanted to be a doctor that I might be able to work
without having to talk
because for years I had been giving myself out in words.
- Albert Schweitzer
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.