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Let these funny Bury Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery
in which to bury the faults of his friends.
- Henry Brooks Adams
Do what you love.
Know your own bone;
gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it,
and gnaw it still.
- Henry David Thoreau
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Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
It's better to burn out, than to fade away.
- Neil Young
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
which I have got a hold of for the moment,
and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible
before handing it on to future generations.
- George Bernard Shaw
You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture.
Just get people to stop reading them.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Yesterday is ashes.
Tomorrow is green wood.
Only today does the fire burn brightly.
- Eskimo Proverb
Find a place inside where there's joy,
and the joy will burn out the pain.
- Joseph Campbell
Just as a candle cannot burn without fire,
men cannot live without a spiritual life.
- The Buddha
Better do a good deed near at home
than go far away to burn incense.
- Amelia Earhart
I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze
than it should be stifled by dry rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor,
every atom of me in magnificent glow,
than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.
- Jack London
Prayer does not use up artificial energy,
doesn't burn up any fossil fuel, doesn't pollute.
Neither does song, neither does love, neither does the dance.
- Margaret Mead
Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain
A great democracy does not make it harder to vote than to buy an assault weapon.
- William J. Clinton
Money is not required to buy one necessity of the soul.
- Henry David Thoreau
If you want to feel rich,
just count all of the things you have that money can't buy.
- Anonymous
Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.
Cleverness is mere opinion, bewilderment is intuition.
- Rumi
We need less posturing and more genuine charisma.
Charisma was originally a religious term,
meaning "of the spirit" or "inspired."
It's about letting God's light shine through us.
It's about a sparkle in people that money can't buy.
It's an invisible energy with visible effects.
To let go, to just love, is not to fade into the wallpaper.
Quite the contrary, it's when we truly become bright.
We're letting our own light shine.
- Marianne Williamson
Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
- William J. Clinton
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo,
but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you
when the limo breaks down.
- Oprah Winfrey
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
Genuine heroes - no batteries needed -
bring lots of open-mind and at least a little courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Instead of needing lots of children,
we need high-quality children.
- Margaret Mead
Children are curious and are risk takers.
They have lots of courage.
They venture out into a world
that is immense and dangerous.
A child initially trusts life
and the processes of life.
- John Bradshaw
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.