Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Transmitted Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Training - training is everything; training is all there is to a person.
We speak of nature; it is folly; there is no such thing as nature;
what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training.
We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own;
they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
All that is original in us, and therefore fairly creditable
or discreditable to us, can be covered up and hidden
by the point of a cambric needle, all the rest being atoms
contributed by, and inherited from, a procession of ancestors
that stretches back a billion years to the Adam-clam
or grasshopper or monkey from whom our race has been
so tediously and ostentatiously and unprofitably developed.
And as for me, all that I think about in this plodding sad pilgrimage,
this pathetic drift between the eternities,
is to look out and humbly live a pure and high and blameless life,
and save that one microscopic atom in me that is truly me:
the rest may land in Sheol and welcome for all I care.
- Mark Twain in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch
The intuitive mind is a sacred gift
and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honors the servant
and has forgotten the gift.
- Albert Einstein
We won't have a society if we destroy the environment.
- Margaret Mead
One of the greatest casualties
of the war in Vietnam is the Great Society...
shot down on the battlefield of Vietnam.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
People who work together will win,
whether it be against complex football defenses,
or the problems of modern society.
- Vince Lombardi
Society is a masked ball,
where every one hides his real character,
and reveals it by hiding.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The opposite of courage in our society
is not cowardice, it is conformity.
- Rollo May
There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul
than the way in which it treats its children.
- Nelson Mandela
The value of a dollar is social,
as it is created by society.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor,
it cannot save the few who are rich.
- John F. Kennedy
It seems that we have it backward in our society.
We tend to look up to people
who are under a great deal of stress,
who can handle loads of stress,
and those who are under a great deal of pressure.
- Richard Carlson
As in geology, so in social institutions,
we may discover the causes of all past changes
in the present invariable order of society.
- Henry David Thoreau
We must not inflict life on children who will be resented;
we must not inflict unwanted children on society.
- Anne Lamott
In my afternoon walk I would fain forget
all my morning occupations and my obligations to society.
- Henry David Thoreau
I claim that human mind or human society
is not divided into watertight compartments
called social, political and religious.
All act and react upon one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Truth is certainly a branch of morality
and a very important one to society.
- Thomas Jefferson
In Iroquois society, leaders are encouraged to
remember seven generations in the past and
consider seven generations in the future
when making decisions that affect the people.
- Wilma Mankiller
All that is valuable in human society
depends upon the opportunity for development
accorded the individual.
- Albert Einstein
To educate a person in mind and not in morals
is to educate a menace to society.
- Theodore Roosevelt
I had three chairs in my house;
one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.
- Henry David Thoreau
It is incontestable and deplorable
that Negroes have committed crimes;
but they are derivative crimes.
They are born of the greater crimes of the white society.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Society censors our actions,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Measures must always, in a progressive society,
be held superior to men, who are after all,
imperfect instruments, working for their fulfillment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
My decision to register women confirms what is already obvious
throughout our society -
that women are now providing
all types of skills in every profession.
The military should be no exception.
- Jimmy Carter
Discrimination is a hellhound that gnaws at Negroes
in every waking moment of their lives
to remind them that the lie of their inferiority
is accepted as truth in the society dominating them.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The very word "secrecy' is repugnant in a free and open society;
and we are as a people inherently and historically
opposed to secret societies,
to secret oaths, and to secret proceedings.
- John F. Kennedy
Liberty is to the collective body,
what health is to every individual body.
Without health no pleasure can be tasted by man;
without liberty, no happiness can be enjoyed by society.
- Thomas Jefferson
My role in society, or any artist's or poet's role,
is to try and express what we all feel.
Not to tell people how to feel.
Not as a preacher, not as a leader,
but as a reflection of us all.
- John Lennon
I know of no safe depository of the ultimate powers
of the society but the people themselves;
and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise
their control with a wholesome discretion,
the remedy is not to take it from them but to inform their discretion.
- Thomas Jefferson
The heart is always right -
if there's a question of choosing between the mind and the heart -
because mind is a creation of the society.
It has been educated.
You have been given it by the society, not by existence.
The heart is unpolluted.
- Osho
Sports are a microcosm of society.
- Billie Jean King (tennis player)
If art is to nourish the roots of our culture,
society must set the artist free
to follow his vision wherever it takes him.
- John F. Kennedy
The basic thing nobody asks is
why do people take drugs of any sort?
Why do we have these accessories to normal living to live?
I mean, is there something wrong with society
that's making us so pressurized,
that we cannot live without guarding ourselves against it?
- John Lennon
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
EVERYONE has the right to make an ass out of themselves.
- Harold and Maude (The movie )
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have taken more out of alcohol
than alcohol has taken out of me.
- Winston Churchill
Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Watch out, I have a Magic Wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill
Thank you for visiting: Funny Transmitted Quotes - Funny Quotes about Transmitted.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.