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Funny Submitted Quotes
Funny Quotes about Submitted

Let these funny Submitted Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I submit to you that if a man hasn't
discovered something that he will die for,
he isn't fit to live.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I submit that an individual who breaks the law
that conscience tells him is unjust
and willingly accepts the penalty by staying in jail
to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice,
is in reality expressing the very highest respect for law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp

Formula to live your dream:
1. Be bold. 2. Begin now, 3. No exceptions.
- William James

Believe in yourself,
in your vision for your future
and in your ability to take a small step
each day toward achieving your vision.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important
as what you become by achieving your goals.
- Henry David Thoreau

We come this way but once.
We can either tiptoe through life
and hope we get to death without being badly bruised
or we can live a full, complete life achieving
our goals and realizing our wildest dreams.
- Bob Proctor

True courage is taking another small step each day
toward achieving your vision.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This moment! - this here-now - is forgotten
when you start thinking in terms of achieving something.
When the achieving mind arises,
you lose contact with the paradise you are in.
- Osho

Nothing can stop the man with the right
mental attitude from achieving his goal;
nothing on earth can help the man
with the wrong mental attitude.
- Thomas Jefferson

Not every difficult and dangerous thing
is suitable for training,
but only that which is conducive to success
in achieving the object of our effort.
- Epictetus

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks
for everything that happens to you,
knowing that every step forward is a step toward
achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.
- Brian Tracy

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The future belongs to those
who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein

The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe

Have a Vision, a Dream.
Believe in that Vision.
Live that Vision with every fiber of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell

If you believe that a task will be difficult, it will be -
and you will have suffered with worry beforehand.
Approach life with joy and optimism.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To believe in a just law of cause and effect,
carrying with it a punishment or a reward,
is to believe in righteousness.
- Ernest Holmes

I do not believe in the God of theology
who rewards good and punishes evil.
- Albert Einstein

Take time to contemplate -
away from the opinions and influence of others -
what you really want
and what you believe to be important in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities.
Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers
you cannot be successful or happy.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Reality is what you believe it to be.
It's what you put your thought and energy into,
because your hands physically manifest thought.
So your world becomes what you feel and what you think.
- Jewel

Believe that life is worth living,
and your belief will help create the fact.
- William James

I believe life's rich experiences need to be shared with others -
for me this is the way one builds knowledge.
- Pravs J

Reality doesn't impress me.
I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy,
and when ordinary life shackles me,
I escape, one way or another.
No more walls.
- Anais Nin

I do not believe in a fate that
falls on men however they act;
but I do believe in a fate
that falls on them unless they act.
- The Buddha

If you believe in forever,
then life is just a one night stand.
- The Righteous Brothers

The thing always happens that you really believe in;
and the belief in a thing makes it happen.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

We cause ourselves untold misery whenever we believe
others to be imperfect and try to change them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton

I no doubt deserved my enemies,
but I don't believe I deserved my friends.
- Walt Whitman

As you discover your daily good,
and believe in it, and think about it,
expect it to continue.
- Ernest Holmes

Faith consists in believing when it is
beyond the power of reason to believe.
- Voltaire

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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