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Let these funny Universal Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I am a unique expression of the universal fabric of creation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer 
Every formula of every religion has, in this age of reason,
to submit to the acid test of reason and universal assent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I am a Unique Expression
of the Universal Fabric of Creation.
I celebrate both my uniqueness
and my connection with all that is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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The universal Mind contains all knowledge.
It is the potential ultimate of all things.
To it, all things are possible.
- Ernest Holmes
The vast Cathedral of Your Being
becomes sanctuary for all creation
as you celebrate the universal sacraments
of compassion and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions
such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Whenever a man or women is truly inspired,
it is because the same One Universal Spirit
is doing the inspiring.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When the universal sacraments of compassion and joy
fill the vast cathedral of our being,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Compassion is the universal standard of moral living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A wise one said, "We are most like God when we forgive."
It is easy for us to blame, but hard for us to forgive.
Yet that is what we are called upon to do -
to forgive everyone for everything.
And the reward?
In this life, the reward for forgiveness
is your own happiness.
Unconditional universal forgiveness is
the key to your own happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking.
There is an almost universal quest
for easy answers and half-baked solutions.
Nothing pains some people more than having to think.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I am a unique expression
of the universal fabric of creation;
I am that I am that I am.
In the eternity of all creation,
I am the only ME that ever will be;
and I am so honored that the Power of the Universe
has chosen for me to be ME.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We must not reduce the bosom of the universal church
to a nest protecting our mediocrity.
- Pope Francis
Today, more than ever before, life must be characterized
by a sense of Universal responsibility,
not only nation to nation and human to human,
but also human to other forms of life.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Forgiving others is a gift to yourself,
given not because the other deserves pardon,
but because you deserve the serenity and joy
that comes from releasing resentment and anger,
and from embracing universal forgiveness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary;
new, universal, and more liberal laws
will begin to establish themselves around and within him;
or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor
in a more liberal sense,
and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings.
- Henry David Thoreau
This life is what you make it.
Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes,
it's a universal truth.
But the good part is,
you get to decide how you're going to mess it up.
Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway.
But just remember, some come, some go.
The ones that stay with you through everything -
they're your true best friends.
Don't let go of them.
Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world.
- Marilyn Monroe
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
An unclean person is universally a slothful one.
- Henry David Thoreau
It is strange to be known so universally
and yet to be so lonely.
- Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
Miracles are the natural way of the Universe -
our only job is to move our doubting minds aside
and let the miracles flow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To the mind that is still,
the whole universe surrenders.
- Lao Tzu
The goal of life is
to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe,
to match your nature with Nature.
- Joseph Campbell
He who lives in harmony with himself
lives in harmony with the universe.
- Marcus Aurelius
The universe is full of magical things
patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
- Eden Phillpotts
The moral arc of the universe
bends at the elbow of justice.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life is a mask through which the universe expresses itself.
- Frank Herbert
The cathedral of my God of no church
is the entirety of the universe.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I look for what needs to be done.
After all, that's how the universe designs itself.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
As you simplify your life,
the laws of the universe will be simpler;
solitude will not be solitude,
poverty will not be poverty,
nor weakness weakness.
- Henry David Thoreau
The universe must exist for the self-expression
of God and the delight of God.
- Ernest Holmes
The mind of man is continuously unfolding
into a greater recognition of its real plan
in the creative order of the Universe.
- Ernest Holmes
I am so honored that the Power of the Universe
has chosen for me to be ME.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When we try to pick out anything by itself,
we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
- John Muir
All the energy of the universe is mine
to use as spirit directs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The universe is wider than our views of it.
- Henry David Thoreau
There is no chance and anarchy in the universe.
All is system and gradation.
Every god is there sitting in his sphere.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A mind at peace, a mind centered
and not focused on harming others,
is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
- Wayne Dyer
If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller
Know thyself, and thou shalt know the Universe and God.
- Pythagoras
We live in a spiritual Universe.
God is in, through, around and for us.
- Ernest Holmes
Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.
- Lao Tzu
To discover joy is to return to
a state of oneness with the universe.
- Peggy Jenkins
Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe,
nay whole systems of universes, to be governed by laws,
but the smallest insect, we wish
to be created at once by special act.
- Charles Darwin
I find hope in the darkest of days,
and focus in the brightest.
I do not judge the universe.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Gratitude in advance is the most powerful
creative force in the universe.
- Neale Donald Walsch
There is a power for good in the universe
greater than you are and you can use it.
- Ernest Holmes
It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes
When prayer removes distrust and doubt
and enters the field of mental certainty,
it becomes faith; and the universe is built on faith.
- Ernest Holmes
You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,
deserves your love and affection.
- The Buddha
The Universe is one great kindergarten for man.
Everything that exists has brought
with it its own peculiar lesson.
- Orison Swett Marden
I am one with the power and wisdom of the Universe.
I have all that I need.
- Louise L. Hay
In our willingness to give that which we seek,
we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.
- Deepak Chopra
The manifest universe is the body of God ...
all people are incarnations of the One Spirit.
- Ernest Holmes
Know that miracles are the natural way of the Universe
Your only job is to move your doubting mind out of the way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The effort to understand the universe is one
of the very few things that lifts human life
a little above the level of farce,
and gives it some of the grace of tragedy.
- Steven Weinberg
That deep emotional conviction of the presence
of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed
in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God.
- Albert Einstein
The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.
- John Muir
We are just an advanced breed of monkeys
on a minor planet of a very average star.
But we can understand the Universe.
That makes us something very special.
- Stephen Hawking
At the deepest level, there is no giver, no gift, and no recipient...
only the universe rearranging itself.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.