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Let these funny Slang Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It is too late to be studying Hebrew;
it is more important to understand
even the slang of to-day.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall 
Frankly, I'm too scared to ask about the frog.
- the movie Tangled (2010)
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
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Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Serious illness doesn't bother me for long
because I am too inhospitable a host.
- Albert Schweitzer
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion
without the discomfort of thought.
- John F. Kennedy
Money often costs too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde
It was impossible to get a conversation going,
everybody was talking too much.
- Yogi Berra
Too clever is dumb.
- Ogden Nash
Rules are mostly made to be broken
and are too often for the lazy to hide behind.
- Douglas MacArthur
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire
I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
You are never too old to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
- C. S. Lewis
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton
We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry
I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman
It is a mistake to look too far ahead.
Only one link in the chain of destiny
can be handled at a time.
- Winston Churchill
In the long history of humankind (and animal-kind, too)
those who learned to collaborate and
improvise most effectively have prevailed.
- Charles Darwin
This too, shall pass.
- Bible
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
Genius always finds itself a century too early.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The chains of habit are too weak to be felt
until they are too strong to be broken.
- Samuel Johnson
The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
- Alfred Adler
A man too busy to take care of his health is like
a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
- Spanish Proverb
Friendship, like the immortality of the soul,
is too good to be believed.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Whoever is happy will make others happy too.
- Anne Frank
Great people are those who make others feel
that they, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain
Too many people overvalue what they are not,
and undervalue what they are.
- Malcolm S. Forbes
I am mortified to be told that, in the United States of America,
the sale of a book can become a subject of inquiry,
and of criminal inquiry too.
- Thomas Jefferson
When life is too easy for us, we must beware
or we may not be ready to meet the blows
which sooner or later come to everyone, rich or poor.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Any man who reads too much
and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein
To say "too busy" is merely
to say "confused priorities."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Embrace your uniqueness.
Time is much too short to be
living someone else's life.
- Kobi Yamada
We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children
that makes the heart too big for the body.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
He who is too busy doing good
finds no time to be good.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Most of us love, to be sure.
Yet far too often our love is passive.
We must be proactive in our love
in order for it to change our lives.
- Marianne Williamson
I am an optimist.
It does not seem too much use being anything else.
- Winston Churchill
One who is too insistent on his own views,
finds few to agree with him.
- Lao Tzu
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that,
but the really great make you feel that
you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain
Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little.
- Epicurus
Don't give up. There are too many nay-sayers out there
who will try to discourage you.
Don't listen to them.
The only one who can make you give up is yourself.
- Sidney Sheldon
Too many people are thinking of security
instead of opportunity.
They seem more afraid of life than death.
- James F. Bymes
"I wonder what Piglet is doing," thought Pooh.
"I wish I were there to be doing it, too."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.