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Funny Unhappiness Quotes
Funny Quotes about Unhappiness

Let these funny Unhappiness Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Our unhappiness is triggered by either
having less than yesterday,
or having less than our neighbor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus

All unhappiness comes from either
having less than yesterday,
or from having less than one's neighbor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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One of the greatest cause of unhappiness -
perhaps even the only cause of unhappiness - is comparison.
I remember as a young child hearing my mother say,
"Comparisons are odious."
That is one of the oldest sayings in the English language,
and one of the most important.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most unhappiness comes from resisting life.
Occasionally, you have such a strong commitment
to changing the world order that it is worth
struggling against the flow of life.
But don't live your life as if each minor happening
were a matter of life and death.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't seek God in temples.
He is close to you.
He is within you.
Only you should surrender to Him
and you will rise above happiness and unhappiness.
- Leo Tolstoy


 

Where there is unconditional love,
there is no room for unhappiness.
Whenever I look in the mirror today,
I will say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am determined to be cheerful and happy
in whatever situation I may find myself.
For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness
is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.
- Martha Washington

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

Rashness is the faithful, but unhappy parent of misfortune.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself.
- Publilius Syrus

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank

Happy is the hearing man; unhappy the speaking man.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.
- Mother Teresa

A man is as unhappy as he has convinced himself he is.
- Seneca

Whoever does not regard what he has
as most ample wealth, is unhappy,
though he be master of the world.
- Epictetus

The Science of Mind is intensely practical
because it teaches us how to use
the Mind Principle for definite purposes,
such as helping those who are sick, impoverished, or unhappy.
- Ernest Holmes

People sort themselves into groups
of happy people and unhappy people
through two different, but complementary mechanisms,
influence and affinity.
I influence those around me
with my emotional state, either happy or unhappy.
At the same time, I feel an affinity
for others who are like me in some way -
in this case by sharing my emotional outlook on life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Simply put, you believe that things
or people make you unhappy,
but this is not accurate.
You make yourself unhappy.
- Wayne Dyer

Life is magnificent - just as it comes.
Life has no need for fancy clothes, or lipstick.
Life is no pig.
Our life is the greatest gift of all creation.
When we are unhappy with life -
when we are shocked by the stock market,
or dismayed by our choice of political candidates,
let us not lash out in anger.
But also, let us not try to pretty up life
with some lipstick and some party clothes.
See life clearly - no rose colored glasses -
and then CHOOSE to love life.
CHOOSE to be happy, be joyful, be grateful,
be forgiving of everyone and of every act
we believe has hurt us.
Life just "IS."
We get to CHOOSE our relationship with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love.
But then one suffers from not loving.
Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer;
to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love.
To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy.
Therefore, to be unhappy, one must love
or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.
I hope you're getting this down.
- the movie Love and Death

Meddling:
Everything that happens in the world, or doesn't happen,
is NOT my responsibility.
There are more than enough things that are my responsibility.
I am responsible for my thoughts, my beliefs, and my actions -
and that is enough.
It does not serve me to mind anyone else's business.
I can only make myself unhappy by trying to second guess
what anyone else thinks or does.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do you not know that there comes a midnight hour
when every one has to throw off his mask?
Do you believe that life will always let itself be mocked?
Do you think you can slip away a little before midnight
in order to avoid this? Or are you not terrified by it?
I have seen men in real life who so long deceived others
that at last their true nature could not reveal itself;...
In every man there is something which to a certain degree
prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself;
and this may be the case in so high a degree,
he may be so inexplicably woven into relationships of life
which extend far beyond himself that he almost cannot reveal himself.
But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love,
and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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