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Funny Objective Quotes
Funny Quotes about Objective

Let these funny Objective Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank

Like an Owl, I am Alert, Patient, and Objective.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor,
mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


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I object to violence because
when it appears to do good,
the good is only temporary;
the evil it does is permanent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson

Not every difficult and dangerous thing
is suitable for training,
but only that which is conducive to success
in achieving the object of our effort.
- Epictetus


 

The object of education is to prepare the young
to educate themselves throughout their lives.
- Robert M. Hutchins

The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction,
is the first and only object of good government.
- Thomas Jefferson

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon

Make your important choices in life
based on your values and your long-term objectives
rather than on a need for approval.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision.
The ability to direct individual accomplishments
toward organizational objectives.
It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.
- Andrew Carnegie

If I am capable of grasping God objectively,
I do not believe, but precisely because
I cannot do this I must believe.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Objectivity is the cure for depression.
- Bono

Dispassionate objectivity is itself a passion,
for the real and for the truth.
- Abraham Maslow

Which beliefs bring out the best in you?
Which beliefs hold you prisoner to yesterday
and limit your options for designing a great future?
Test your beliefs with as much objectivity
as you can bring to the subject.
Be willing to let go of those beliefs
that represent your parents' opinions,
or your communities opinions, rather than your own.
Those beliefs that withstand rigorous testing,
should become the foundation of your being -
your reason for living.
Take action on those beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes
the objects of his creation
and is but a reflection of human frailty.
- Albert Einstein

Peace and abstinence from European interferences are our objects,
and so will continue while the present
order of things in America remain uninterrupted.
- Thomas Jefferson

The creation of something new
is not accomplished by the intellect
but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity.
The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.
- Carl Jung

Communists have always played an active role
in the fight by colonial countries for their freedom,
because the short-term objects of Communism
would always correspond with
the long-term objects of freedom movements.
- Nelson Mandela

In Art, man reveals himself and not his objects.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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