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Let these funny Reduce Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It's essential to tell the truth at all times.
This will reduce life's pain.
Lying distorts reality.
All forms of distorted thinking must be corrected.
- John Bradshaw
"Think simple" as my old master used to say -
meaning reduce the whole of its parts
into the simplest terms,
getting back to first principles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Manifest plainness, embrace simplicity,
reduce selfishness, have few desires.
- Lao Tzu
During his training, a baseball player strives
to make each swing better than the last.
The repetition of a faulty swing would be worse than useless.
It would ingrain bad habits.
The same is true of emotional responses.
If we allow ourselves to continue to have the same angry responses,
we just entrench our anger habit.
But if we strive - through consciousness, visualization, and coaching -
to moderate our anger response,
over time, we can train ourselves to respond
to events as we choose - without anger.
You can't magically be free from anger tomorrow,
but you can put yourself on your own training program
that will reduce the frequency and intensity
of your anger response day by day, year by year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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We must not reduce the bosom of the universal church
to a nest protecting our mediocrity.
- Pope Francis
One ought never to turn one's back
on a threatened danger and try to run away from it.
If you do that, you will double the danger.
But if you meet it promptly and without flinching,
you will reduce the danger by half.
Never run away from anything. Never!
- Winston Churchill
Truth is something which can't be told in a few words.
Those who simplify the universe
only reduce the expansion of its meaning.
- Anais Nin
The older I get, the more wisdom I find
in the ancient rule of taking first things first.
A process which often reduces
the most complex human problem to a manageable proportion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
We did not change as we grew older;
we just became more clearly ourselves.
- Lynn Hall
Getting old is a fascination thing.
The older you get, the older you want to get.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands.
One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
- Audrey Hepburn
One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend."
We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older.
The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age
when a busy life and changing geographies
can cause us to neglect those friends.
Today is the day to invest in those people
we hope will call us "old friend" in the years to come.
- Grant Fairley
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
Short words are best
and the old words, when short, are best of all.
- Winston Churchill
I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
- the movie Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.
- Brigitte Bardot
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant
I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
But when I got to be 21, I was astonished
at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
- Mark Twain
We don't stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
- George Bernard Shaw
You are never too old to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
- C. S. Lewis
I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell
Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
What old people say you cannot do,
you try and find that you can.
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau
Every generation laughs at the old fashions,
but follows religiously the new.
- Henry David Thoreau
And in the end, it's not
the years in your life that count,
it's the life in your years.
- Abraham Lincoln
Youth, large, lusty, loving -
Youth, full of grace, force, fascination.
Do you know that Old Age may come after you
with equal grace, force, fascination?
- Walt Whitman
Forgiveness ... is the finishing of old business
that allows us to experience the present,
free of contamination from the past.
- Joan Borysenko
To a philosopher all news,
as it is called, is gossip,
and they who edit and read it
are old women over their tea.
- Henry David Thoreau
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau
Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process,
gradually changing opinions,
slowly eroding old barriers,
quietly building new structures.
- John F. Kennedy
It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary
to put all the play and learning into childhood,
all the work into middle age,
and all the regrets into old age.
- Margaret Mead
Often, the greatest joy is to be found not in new things,
but in old things seen through new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.
- Robert Browning
The best mirror is an old friend.
- Proverb
Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty, never grows old.
- Franz Kafka
There is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it.
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Old is the new new.
- Anonymous
That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind.
The time is always right to do the right thing.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
To be seventy years young is sometimes
far more cheerful and hopeful
than to be forty years old.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
As we grow old, the beauty steals inward.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sometimes new love comes between old friends.
Sometimes the best love was the one that was always there.
- Anonymous
I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving
for my friends, the old and the new.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When men destroy their old gods,
they will find new ones to take their place.
- Pearl S. Buck
As long as any adult thinks that he,
like the parents and teachers of old,
can become introspective,
invoking his own youth to understand
the youth before him,
he is lost.
- Margaret Mead
"Be Prepared."
"Be prepared for what?"
"Why, for any old thing."
- Robert Baden-Powell,
the founder of Scouting.
[as quoted in the Boy Scout Handbook]
A friendship will be young after the lapse of half a century;
a passion is old at the end of three months.
- Madame Swetchine
A mind that is stretched by a new experience
an never go back to its old dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill
It is one of the blessings of old friends
that you can afford to be stupid with them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson
I can't understand why people
are frightened by new ideas.
I'm frightened of old ones.
- John Cage
Forgiveness is the cleansing fire
that burns away old regrets and resentments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To raise new questions, new possibilities,
to regard old problems from a new angle,
requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.
- Albert Einstein
An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes
No one should ever sit in this office over 70 years old,
and that I know.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.
- Yiddish Proverb
None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.
- Henry David Thoreau
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.