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Funny Pain Quotes
Funny Quotes about Pain

Let these funny Pain Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If you aren't in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret.
- Jim Carrey

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon


 

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
- Carl Jung


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Grief is a normal and natural response to loss.
It is originally an unlearned feeling process.
Keeping grief inside increases your pain.
- Anne Grant

Recovery begins with embracing our pain
and taking the risk to share it with others.
We do this by joining a group
and talking about our pain.
- John Bradshaw

Jealousy is that pain which a man feels
from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved
by the person whom he entirely loves.
- Joseph Addison

Pain is what the world inflicts upon us.
Suffering is our emotional reaction when we fail
to make the difficult conscious choice to choose Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Find a place inside where there's joy,
and the joy will burn out the pain.
- Joseph Campbell

When we come into the present,
we begin to feel the life around us again,
but we also encounter whatever we have been avoiding.
We must have the courage to face whatever is present -
our pain, our desires, our grief,
our loss, our secret hopes our love -
everything that moves us most deeply.
- Jack Kornfield

Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
- Khalil Gibran

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary.
It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body.
It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.
- Winston Churchill

Honor your past, and all the consequences of that past.
Receive insight into relieving the pain
caused by past experiences and current attitudes toward life.
Observe life as it currently appears,
and then train yourself to observe life
from other perspectives that support a higher quality of living.
Re-consider your priorities.
Chart your Course.
Set Sail with Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If the money we donate helps one child or can ease the pain of one parent,
those funds are well spent.
- Carl Karcher

Pain is filtered in a poem so that it becomes finally,
in the end, pleasure.
- Mark Strand

A wise man will make haste to forgive,
because he knows the true value of time,
and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.
- Samuel Johnson

One good thing about music, when it hits you,
you feel no pain.
- Bob Marley

Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder,
with a dash of the dictionary.
- Khalil Gibran

How much pain they have cost us,
the evils which have never happened.
- Thomas Jefferson

I am the master of my emotions -
I transform fear to love, anger to compassion,
pain to comfort, scarcity to abundance,
expectation to gratitude, and jealousy to generosity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The trick is not how much pain you feel -
but how much joy you feel
- Erica Jong

I cannot know the pain you feel.
I cannot share your memories or your loss.
My words of sympathy are beneath measure, yet
know that my heart reaches out with love to your heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger.
- Allen Klein

Friends share our pain and touch our wounds
with a gentle and tender hand.
- Henri Nouwen

It's essential to tell the truth at all times.
This will reduce life's pain.
Lying distorts reality.
All forms of distorted thinking must be corrected.
- John Bradshaw

Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.
- Lance Armstrong

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage -
they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

No pain, no gain.
- Anonymous

Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed;
to kindness,
to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey.
- Marcel Proust

My definition of success is to live your life in a way
that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain -
and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel
a lot more pleasure than they do pain.
- Tony Robbins

It is not death or pain that is to be dreaded,
but the fear of pain or death.
- Epictetus

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
- Khalil Gibran

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.
- Max Eastman

Language... has created the word "loneliness"
to express the pain of being alone.
And it has created the word "solitude"
to express the glory of being alone.
- Paul Tillich

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
- Buddhist proverb

Whosoever is spared personal pain
must feel himself called
to help in diminishing the pain of others.
We must all carry our share of
the misery which lies upon the world.
- Albert Schweitzer

Once you have seen the truth
you must make the decision to let go
of the pain, anger, and resentment you have been holding on to.
This requires you to take action.
If you are attached to your pain, resentment,
and self-righteousness, and addicted to your emotional reactions,
this will be a difficult step for you.
Taking action requires letting go of the very thing
you have been holding on to for so many years.
There is comfort in what we find familiar,
even if we are experiencing pain and suffering.
The pain and suffering itself becomes the familiarity we seek.
It takes absolute faith in yourself
plus courage, will, and discipline to let go.
But once you let go, it will be as if
the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders.
In this process it is important to forgive
not just the others in our lives, but also ourselves.
For most people, giving ourselves
the gift of forgiveness is very challenging.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Pain is a difficult companion. There's no getting around that.
But, if pain is to be a companion, searching and discovering
your own best ways to travel with that pain
will lead you to the joy that you long to have.
They are your paths, your ways and while my experience
and the experiences of others may inspire you,
ultimately it will be the choices you discover
and make for yourself that lead you to certain joy
in the midst of your challenges.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is cruel, you know, that music should be so beautiful.
It has the beauty of loneliness of pain:
of strength and freedom.
The beauty of disappointment and never-satisfied love.
The cruel beauty of nature and everlasting beauty of monotony.
- Benjamin Britten

By our Heavenly Father and only because of God,
only because of God.
We're like other couples.
We do not get along perfectly; we do not go without arguments and,
as I call them, fights, and heartache and pain and hurting each other.
But a marriage is three of us.
- Barbara Mandrell

All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him.
If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought,
happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.
- The Buddha

Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the
physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink
his remedy in silence and tranquility.
- Khalil Gibran

If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal

Laugh at yourself and at life.
Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity,
but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain,
cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective
that seemingly terrible defeat and worry
with laughter at your predicaments,
thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution
that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.
- Og Mandino

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our
lives means the most to us,
we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice,
solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our
pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.
- Henri Nouwen

Compared to dancing, films seemed to me to be the work of lay bums.
There was no physical pain; it was enough to say and
imagine what was in the script.
It was very easy for me.
- Victoria Abril

I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character
than by what makes him funny.
- Jason Alexander

Evil being the root of mystery, pain is the root of knowledge.
- Simone Weil

A babe at the breast is as much pleasure as the bearing is pain.
- Marion Zimmer Bradley

After great pain, a formal feeling comes.
The Nerves sit ceremonious, like tombs.
- Emily Dickinson

Whenever we condemn, we cloak the world in pain.
- Hugh Prather

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.
- Kenji Miyazawa

There are only three sins - causing pain,
causing fear, and causing anguish.
The rest is window dressing.
- Roger Caras

There's been a lot of speculation about every single
girl I'm with and it actually does quite irritate me after a while,
more so because it's a complete pain for the girls.
- Prince William

The least pain in our little finger gives us more concern
and uneasiness than the destruction of millions of our fellow-beings.
- William Hazlitt

Prefer a loss to a dishonest gain; the one brings pain at the moment,
the other for all time.
- Chilon

Sympathy is charming, but it does not make up for pain.
- Lillie Langtry

The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.
- Charles Dickens

Pain is love.
- Ja Rule

There was no reality to pain when it left one,
thought while it held one fast all other realities failed.
- Rachel Field

I think good art happens on that edge between comfortable and in a lot of pain,
you know what I mean?
- Liz Phair

Pain adds rest unto pleasure, and teaches the luxury of health.
- Martin Farquhar Tupper

All pain is per se and especially in excess,
destructive and ultimately fatal in its nature and effects.
- James Young Simpson

The trouble with born-again Christians is that they
are an even bigger pain the second time around.
- Herb Caen

Pain is never permanent.
- Saint Teresa of Avila

Do not be afraid that joy will make the pain worse;
it is needed like the air we breathe.
- Goran Persson

Pain has its own noble joy, when it starts a strong consciousness of life,
from a stagnant one.
- John Sterling

Congress's definition of torture in those laws -
the infliction of severe mental or physical pain -
leaves room for interrogation methods that go beyond polite conversation.
- John Yoo


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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