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Let these funny Oasis Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
America and Israel share a special bond.
Our relationship is unique among all nations.
Like America, Israel is a strong democracy,
a symbol of freedom, and an oasis of liberty,
a home to the oppressed and persecuted.
- William J. Clinton
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Nothing is more important in our national life
than the welfare of our children.
- Harry S. Truman (when signing the National School Lunch Act in 1946)
I am mortified to be told that, in the United States of America,
the sale of a book can become a subject of inquiry,
and of criminal inquiry too.
- Thomas Jefferson
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My dream is of a place and a time where America
will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth.
- Abraham Lincoln
There is nothing wrong with America
that faith, love of freedom, intelligence,
and energy of her citizens cannot cure.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I look forward to an America which
will not be afraid of grace and beauty.
- John F. Kennedy
We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.
When the loyal opposition dies,
I think the soul of America dies with it.
- Edward R. Murrow
Only Americans can hurt America.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The school is the last expenditure upon which America
should be willing to economize.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
America did not invent human rights.
In a very real sense, it is the other way around.
Human rights invented America.
- Jimmy Carter
America has tossed its cap over the wall of space.
- John F. Kennedy
There is nothing wrong with America
that cannot be cured with what is right in America.
- William J. Clinton
I have one yardstick by which I test every major problem -
and that yardstick is: Is it good for America?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Peace and abstinence from European interferences are our objects,
and so will continue while the present
order of things in America remain uninterrupted.
- Thomas Jefferson
I have found out in later years that we were very poor,
but the glory of America is that we didn't know it then.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
America will never be destroyed from the outside.
If we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
- Abraham Lincoln
America is another name for opportunity.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Whatever America hopes to bring to pass in the world
must first come to pass in the heart of America.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
In America and Europe, the nomadism is of trade and curiosity.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
No one has been barred on account of his race
from fighting or dying for America,
there are no white or colored signs
on the foxholes or graveyards of battle.
- John F. Kennedy
If the United States of America or Britain is having elections,
they don't ask for observers from Africa or from Asia.
But when we have elections, they want observers.
- Nelson Mandela
I look forward to a great future for America -
a future in which our country will match its military strength
with our moral restraint,
its wealth with our wisdom, its power with our purpose.
- John F. Kennedy
Here in America we are descended in blood
and in spirit from revolutionists and rebels.
Men and women who dare to dissent from accepted doctrine.
As their heirs, may we never confuse
honest dissent with disloyal subversion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Memorial Day remains one of America's
most cherished patriotic observances.
The spirit of this day has not changed -
it remains a day to honor those who
died defending our freedom and democracy.
- Doc Hastings
A free America... means just this:
individual freedom for all, rich or poor,
or else this system of government we call democracy
is only an expedient to enslave man
to the machine and make him like it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll
New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu
To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono
Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln
Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller
Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard
The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley
No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell
You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss
Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller
Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein
To the well-organized mind,
death is but the next great adventure.
- J. K. Rowling
Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
- Samuel Johnson
From small beginnings come great things.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.