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Let these funny Jumps Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated;
you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- David Lloyd George
You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- old proverb often attributed to David Lloyd George
The jump is so frightening
between where I am,
and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become,
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher 
The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing,
we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger,
but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.
- Robert Cushing
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Life ... is like a parachute jump:
you have to get it right the first time.
- Margaret Mead
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.