Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Inquiring Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It is our duty still to endeavor to avoid war;
but if it shall actually take place, no matter by whom brought on,
we must defend ourselves.
If our house be on fire, without inquiring whether
it was fired from within or without,
we must try to extinguish it.
- Thomas Jefferson
I am mortified to be told that, in the United States of America,
the sale of a book can become a subject of inquiry,
and of criminal inquiry too.
- Thomas Jefferson
Quotations are dead unless a spur for inquiry.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I never will, by any word or act, bow to the shrine of intolerance
or admit a right of inquiry into the religious opinions of others.
- Thomas Jefferson
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Use heroes as a springboard for inquiry
into the identity and nature of admirably human qualities.
Do not judge heroes -
neither to put them unquestioningly on a pedestal
nor to unkindly probe their flaws.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You have to be an original individual;
you have to find your innermost core on your own,
with no guide, no guiding scriptures.
It is a dark night, but with the intense fire of inquiry
you are bound to come to the sunrise.
Everybody who has burned with intense inquiry
has found the sunrise.
Others only believe.
Those who believe are not religious,
they are simply avoiding the great adventure
of religion by believing.
- Osho
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
- C. S. Lewis
Life is about more than today, and more than yourself.
What will your legacy be?
What will your great-grandchildren be told about you?
Creating a legacy does not have to be a burden,
it can be your joy and can create
your satisfaction with living each day.
What kind of world do you want to leave your great-grandchildren?
What can you do today to help create that world?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Books! I dunno if I ever told you this,
but books are the greatest gift one person can give another.
- Bono
I have this theory - that if we're told we're bad,
then that's the only ideal we'll ever have.
- Jewel
In all of his bestsellers, the Divine has told the truth,
custom-tailored to the comprehension of the times.
- Ernest Holmes
All that glisters is not gold;
Often have you heard that told.
Many a man his life hath sold
but my outside to behold.
Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
- William Shakespeare
Re-examine all that you have been told...
dismiss that which insults your soul.
- Walt Whitman
The Moon Cannot Be Stolen:
A thief entered the little hut of a Zen Master,
but discovered there was nothing to steal.
The Zen Master discovered the thief.
"You have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler,
"and you should not return empty-handed.
Please take my clothes as a gift."
The thief was bewildered,
but he took the clothes and slunk away.
The Zen Master sat naked, watching the moon.
"Poor fellow," he mused,
"I wish I could have given him this beautiful moon."
- Traditional Zen Koan
Most of us believe that we have
been betrayed by someone outside of us -
in other words someone has done something to hurt us,
been dishonest or broken a promise made:
some trust in some concept was broken.
Indeed someone may have taken an action
that took only their needs into consideration,
they may have not followed through on a promise made,
and they may have not told you the truth.
But their actions have nothing to do with you
and have everything to do with them.
That's why no one can do anything TO you.
They can take actions that involve you that you may not like -
according to your point of view.
But you are not a victim, no way, no how.
- Sheri Rosenthal
Truth is something which can't be told in a few words.
Those who simplify the universe
only reduce the expansion of its meaning.
- Anais Nin
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin
The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
Is it ignorance or apathy?
Hey, I don't know and I don't care.
- Jimmy Buffett
If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
- John Lennon
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
Know that the greatest fear is fear of the unknown.
Seek to meet the unknown with courage and a sense of adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
You wanna know the meaning of life?
Fugedaboudit - It ain't happnin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu
If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
To know God, watch a butterfly return to the same tree -
after a year and a thousand miles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Stand Tall, Stand Proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Know thyself.
- Socrates (inscribed on the ancient Greek temple at Delphi)
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
Thank you for visiting: Funny Inquiring Quotes - Funny Quotes about Inquiring.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.