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Let these funny Endeavor Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I do not hold fear about what is happening in the world.
I am responsible for how I conduct myself in the events of my days,
and endeavor to not dwell in fear about anything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor
to be what you desire to appear.
- Socrates
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The quality of a man's life is in direct proportion
to his commitment to excellence,
regardless of his chosen field of endeavor.
- Vince Lombardi
Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability
of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.
- Henry David Thoreau
One that desires to excel
should endeavor in those things
that are in themselves most excellent.
- Epictetus
Not chance of birth or place has made us friends,
Being oftentimes of different tongues and nations,
But the endeavor for the selfsame ends,
With the same hopes, and fears, and aspirations.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
All endeavor calls for the ability
to tramp the last mile,
shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil.
The fight to the finish spirit is the one...
characteristic we must posses
if we are to face the future as finishers.
- Henry David Thoreau
If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams
and endeavor to leave the life which you have imagined,
you will you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
- Henry David Thoreau
It is our duty still to endeavor to avoid war;
but if it shall actually take place, no matter by whom brought on,
we must defend ourselves.
If our house be on fire, without inquiring whether
it was fired from within or without,
we must try to extinguish it.
- Thomas Jefferson
If one advances confidently
in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live
the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with success
unexpected in common hours.
- Henry David Thoreau
Concern for man and his fate must always form
the chief interest of all technical endeavors.
Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and equations.
- Albert Einstein
All endeavors which are directed to a purely worldly end,
contain within themselves the seeds of their own corruption.
- Theodore H. White
I have learned, that if one advances confidently
in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
- Henry David Thoreau
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary;
new, universal, and more liberal laws
will begin to establish themselves around and within him;
or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor
in a more liberal sense,
and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings.
- Henry David Thoreau
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau
She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.