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Let these funny Imposes Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you.
Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires.
Love imposes no demands.
Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand - "Make me feel whole."
Love expands beyond the limits of two people.
Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.
- Deepak Chopra in The Path to Love
The only limits in our life are those we impose on ourselves.
- Bob Proctor
Never impose on others what
you would not choose for yourself.
- Confucius (Ancient Chinese)
At the Core of Our Suffering
are those Self-Imposed Limitations (Assumptions)
of which We are Completely Unaware.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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I do not believe that God has
imposed suffering upon anyone
to punish them or to teach them a lesson.
- Ernest Holmes
There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages
that holds the key to breaking
our cycle of self-imposed suffering.
The secret wisdom is,
"Life is not supposed to be fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A person experiences life as
something separated from the rest -
a kind of optical delusion of consciousness.
Our task must be to free ourselves
from this self-imposed prison,
and through compassion,
to find the reality of Oneness.
- Albert Einstein
There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages
that holds the key to breaking our
cycle of self-imposed suffering.
The secret wisdom is, "Life is not supposed to be fair."
This is not sad news. This is GLORIOUS news!
Life is not broken. Nothing is wrong.
God has not failed, died, or gone on vacation.
The world is working perfectly. We just misunderstood.
Somewhere along the way, someone got the idea that
life was "supposed" to be "fair,"
and all the trouble started -
expectation, disappointment, resentment, anger -
a whole cycle of suffering that began
with the belief that life is "supposed" to be "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Your innermost core has always been pure.
Purity is intrinsic to you,
it cannot be taken away.
- Osho
Our relationships - love and friendship -
are at the core of the meaning of our lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Belief transcends ritual, structure and societal expectation.
It is an enlivening, intensely personal
core to our being. Our way of being.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Never give up on the most important goals in your life.
Never give up on your life purpose.
Never give up on your core values.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whether we allow external events to
shape our lives at a core level
is very much within our own control.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Gratitude is an attitude that
hooks us up to our source of supply.
And the more grateful you are,
the closer you become to your maker,
to the architect of the universe,
to the spiritual core of your being.
- Bob Proctor
You have to be an original individual;
you have to find your innermost core on your own,
with no guide, no guiding scriptures.
It is a dark night, but with the intense fire of inquiry
you are bound to come to the sunrise.
Everybody who has burned with intense inquiry
has found the sunrise.
Others only believe.
Those who believe are not religious,
they are simply avoiding the great adventure
of religion by believing.
- Osho
A young man who does not have what
it takes to perform military service
is not likely to have what
it takes to make a living.
Today's military rejects include
tomorrow's hard-core unemployed.
- John F. Kennedy
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
Just remember, after they foreclose on your mortgage,
you get a lot more sunshine in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
As you awaken,
may your dreams greet you by name,
and may you answer, "Yes!"
- Mary Anne Radmacher
As the evening beckons with the promise of tomorrow...
may your gratitude rise up and with strength answer, "yes."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job:
it's a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S. Truman
Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Grit ruins clam chowder,
but enhances your character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't underestimate your abilities,
that's your boss's job.
- Anonymous
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn
Don't die with your music still inside you.
Listen to your intuitive inner voice
and find what passion stirs your soul.
- Wayne Dyer
It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities without your help.
- Judith Martin
Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
This is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain
What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain
God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.