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Let these funny Illegal Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
In most communities it is illegal
to cry "fire" in a crowded assembly.
Should it not be considered serious international misconduct
to manufacture a general war scare
in an effort to achieve local political aims?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
We work with the people not out of pity
but out of respect for their potential for growth and development,
both as individuals and as communities.
- Jimmy Yen
Let us all take more responsibility,
not only for ourselves and our families, but
for our communities and our country.
- William J. Clinton
Prayer:
Lord God, Holy Spirit, Giver of All Light,
Bless and Keep All Those of This World.
Grant Us Your Peace, Your Light, Your Love.
Grant Us Complete Renewal of Body, Mind and Spirit -
Continual Rebirth in Newness of Life.
Let Your Light Shine Upon Us and Be Gracious to Us.
Grant to Each and Every One of Us:
Health, Comfort, Joy, Peace Within Ourselves,
Peace Within Our Families, Peace Within Our Communities,
and Peace among All those This World.
Grant That I May Be an Instrument of Thy Peace.
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Peace, Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Comfort, Thy Joy,
to All Those Around Me and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More. AMEN.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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Which beliefs bring out the best in you?
Which beliefs hold you prisoner to yesterday
and limit your options for designing a great future?
Test your beliefs with as much objectivity
as you can bring to the subject.
Be willing to let go of those beliefs
that represent your parents' opinions,
or your communities opinions, rather than your own.
Those beliefs that withstand rigorous testing,
should become the foundation of your being -
your reason for living.
Take action on those beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde
Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley
As a cure for worrying,
work is better than whiskey.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
As we work to create light for others,
we naturally light our own way.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela
A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
We are free only if we face the challenge of freedom,
do the work of freedom, fight the fight of freedom
and die the death for freedom.
- Charles G. Adams
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
- Proverb
It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher
I have found out that though the ways in which
I can make myself useful are few,
yet the work open to me is endless.
- Helen Keller
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige
Live boldly. Laugh Loudly. Love Truly.
Play as often as you can
Work as smart as you are able.
Share your heart as deeply as you can reach.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It's work only if I say it's work,
but it's play if I say it's fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live your life, do your work, then take your hat.
- Henry David Thoreau
If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan
The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie
Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The harder I work, the luckier I get.
- Samuel Goldwyn
A man is relieved and gay when he has
put his heart into his work and done his best;
but what he has said or done otherwise
shall give him no peace.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I know the price of success: dedication, hard work,
and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
People who work together will win,
whether it be against complex football defenses,
or the problems of modern society.
- Vince Lombardi
When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The Tao of the sage is work without effort.
Practice non-action. Work without doing.
- Lao Tzu
Nothing is ever going to work out the way you want,
so you may as well choose to want the way life does work out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Work as smart as you are able.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work,
so most people don't recognize them.
- Ann Landers
Three Rules of Work:
Out of clutter find simplicity;
From discord find harmony;
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
- Albert Einstein
What a book a devil's chaplain might write
on the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low,
and horribly cruel work of nature!
- Charles Darwin
Let there be work, bread, water and salt for all.
- Nelson Mandela
Men of lofty genius,
when they are doing the least work,
are most active.
- Leonardo da Vinci
In a very real sense, it will not be one man going to the moon,
it will be an entire nation.
For all of us must work to put him there.
- John F. Kennedy
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
- Vince Lombardi
Wishing to be friends is quick work,
but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.
- Aristotle
Let us touch the dying, the poor,
the lonely and the unwanted
according to the graces we have received
and let us not be ashamed
or slow to do the humble work.
- Mother Teresa
The common denominator for success is work.
- John D. Rockefeller
The trick is in what one emphasizes.
We either make ourselves miserable,
or we make ourselves happy.
The amount of work is the same.
- Carlos Castaneda
Work out your own salvation.
Do not depend on others.
- The Buddha
Football is like life - it requires perseverance,
self-denial, hard work, sacrifice,
dedication and respect for authority.
- Vince Lombardi
Breaking up is a natural evolution
when you try to figure out what you want in life.
If you're with an individual
who isn't moving in the same direction
and at the same rate that you are,
it ain't going to work.
- Usher Raymond
I learned the value of hard work by working hard.
- Margaret Mead
When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I love this work I do.
It's a privilege to serve the poor.
- Bono
What are you committed to?
Have you started, or are you still thinking about it -
and making excuses?
Do you work toward your goal each day?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you have built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Nature is my manifestation of God.
I go to nature every day for inspiration in the day's work.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Choose a job you love,
and you will never have to work a day in your life.
- Confucius
When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.
- John Ruskin
When the best leader's work is done the people say,
"We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu
The miracle is not that we do this work,
but that we are happy to do it.
- Mother Teresa
The price of success is hard work,
dedication to the job at hand,
and the determination that whether we win or lose,
we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.
- Vince Lombardi
I find that the harder I work,
the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson
The choice is to work alone to be a little
more successful than the next person,
or to work together for the great betterment of humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have not failed.
I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
- Thomas Edison
There are no secrets to success.
It is the result of preparation,
hard work, and learning from failure.
- Colin Powell
Make your work to be in keeping with your purpose.
- Leonardo da Vinci
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.