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Let these funny Divested Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving.
I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.
- William J. Clinton
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The only interesting answers are those that destroy the questions.
- Susan Sontag
Success is never so interesting as struggle
- Willa Cather
The most interesting information comes from children,
for they tell all they know and then stop.
- Mark Twain
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her,
and after half an hour
I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
- the movie Take the Money and Run (1969)
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
In my prayers I never said I needed a home.
I said I wanted a sanctuary.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
In all our contacts, it is probably the sense
of being really needed and wanted
which gives us the greatest satisfaction
and creates the most lasting bond.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Sometimes you get the results you wanted,
sometimes you don't.
What matters is that you did your best.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
- John Burroughs
Today is the right day to do
what you have long wanted to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Even the rich are hungry for love,
for being cared for, for being wanted,
for having someone to call their own.
- Mother Teresa
I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver
I wanted to be a doctor that I might be able to work
without having to talk
because for years I had been giving myself out in words.
- Albert Schweitzer
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn
The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus
The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau
The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung
The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau
The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley
The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous
The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson
An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes
We can never replace a friend.
When a man is fortunate enough to have several,
he finds they are all different.
No one has a double in friendship.
- Johann Schiller
A brother is a friend given by Nature.
- Jean Baptiste Legouve
A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell
A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
- Abraham Lincoln
Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu
A friend is someone who won't stop
until he finds you and brings you home.
- Fraser Sr. in the movie Due South
The only reward of virtue is virtue;
the only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings
Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau
A friend to all is a friend to none.
- Aristotle
Better to be a nettle in the side of your friend than his echo.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.