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Funny Jewel Quotes
Funny Quotes about Jewel

Let these funny Jewel Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel

Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel

In case you failed to notice,
in case you failed to see,
this is my heart,
bleeding before you,
this is me down on my knees.
- Jewel


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Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous,
there's really nothing to lose.
- Jewel

I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead.
- Jewel

I'd rather see the world from another angle
- Jewel


 

I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel

Forgiveness is the needle that knows how to mend.
- Jewel

I adore the human experience
- Jewel

Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous;
there's really nothing to lose.
There's no wrong you can't make right again,
so be kinder to yourself;
have fun, take chances. There are no bounds.
- Jewel

Through Love and through Beauty, we achieve immortality.
- Jewel (paraphrasing Plato)

The things you fear are undefeatable,
not by their nature, but by your approach.
- Jewel

Innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel

I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel

My whole goal is to keep my spirit intact.
If that doesn't happen, none of this is worth it.
- Jewel

In silence you hear who you are becoming.
You create yourself.
- Jewel

Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom,
no longer lend your strength to that
which you wish to be free from.
Fill your life with love and bravery,
and you shall live a life uncommon.
- Jewel

Your life becomes what you believe.
- Jewel

Being part of the natural world reminds me
that innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel

Show me a man who knows his own heart
and to him I shall belong.
- Jewel

Who will save your soul if you won't save you own?
- Jewel

I'm becoming more and more myself with time.
I guess that's what grace is.
The refinement of your soul through time.
- Jewel

I will gather myself around my faith,
for light does the darkness most fear.
- Jewel

I get bored very easily, ...
I have a voracious appetite and I do not feel alive
if I'm repeating something I'm good at.
So I'm always looking for new challenges.
- Jewel

Another day, another dollar, another war, another tower
Went up where the homeless had their home.
- Jewel

Reality is what you believe it to be.
It's what you put your thought and energy into,
because your hands physically manifest thought.
So your world becomes what you feel and what you think.
- Jewel

Ride With the Devil.
- Jewel

I have this theory - that if we're told we're bad,
then that's the only ideal we'll ever have.
- Jewel

What we call human nature in actuality is human habit.
- Jewel

I love the contradictions of people
- Jewel

If I could tell the world just one thing
it would be we're all okay,
and not to worry cause worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these.
I won't be made useless.
I won't be idle with despair,
I will gather myself around my faith.
Light does the darkness most fear.
- Jewel

You have to realize: OK, I don't know how
to solve a political problem,
I don't know how to solve the pollution problem...
all I know is in my own life,
I need to figure out some sense of purpose,
I need to figure out how to be happy...
and I'm willing.
- Jewel

Gather yourself by the sea shore and I will love you there.
Assemble yourself with wild things,
with songs of the sparrow and sea-foam.
Let mad beauty collect itself in your eyes
and it will shine - Calling me.
For I long for a man with nests of wild things in his hair.
A man who will Kiss the Flame.
- Jewel

You always feel better when you sing.
Music touches people's hearts.
You know, it doesn't go through your mental capacity,
it just moves you and it will let you cry.
It's worth it doing a show
and when you touch a crowd
and move yourself at the same
- Jewel

There are people selling thoughtlessness with such casualty.
- Jewel

We all should choose our friends carefully.
I used to think that no one could know me better than somebody else,
because you're inside yourself, your body, you can't see yourself.
If you think like that, you surround yourself with
other people who are willing to tell you who you are,
which are usually judgmental people ...
we should really surround ourselves with the ones
that adore us and believe in the highest of us.
- Jewel

I've always had a love for poetry,
and when I got signed to a record label I thought,
"How odd that I'm doing a record before a book of poetry."
- Jewel

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin

History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh

Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow

Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.