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Let these funny Disturbing Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions
such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
When any situation arises which tempts you to become disturbed,
say: "There is another way of looking at this."
- A Course In Miracles
People are not disturbed by things,
but by the view they take of them.
- Epictetus
Men are disturbed not by things,
but by the view which they take of them.
- Epictetus
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The most intense conflicts, if overcome,
leave behind a sense of security and calm
that is not easily disturbed.
It is just these intense conflicts
and their conflagration
which are needed to produce
valuable and lasting results.
- Carl Jung
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley
Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein
It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead
Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein
If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job.
- Malcolm S. Forbes (wealthy publisher)
Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin
It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein
Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
Freedom is never dear at any price.
It is the breath of life.
What would a man not pay for living?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
When life offers you a dream so far
beyond any of your expectations,
it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.
- Bella, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare
By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain
Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
- Mark Twain
Hunger makes a thief of any man.
- Pearl S. Buck
I like the silent church before the service begins,
better than any preaching.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nurture your mind with great thoughts,
for you will never go any higher than you think.
- Benjamin Disraeli
A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.
- James Feibleman
Increase of material comforts,
it may be generally laid down,
does not in any way whatsoever
conduce to moral growth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Any human being who is becoming independent of conditionings,
of religions, scriptures, prophets and messiahs, has arrived home.
He has found the treasure which was hidden in his own being.
- Osho
Difficulties show men what they are.
In case of any difficulty,
remember that God has pitted you
against a rough antagonist
that you may be a conqueror,
and this cannot be without toil.
- Epictetus
Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution.
If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful - it's our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The world turns aside to let any man pass
who knows where he is going.
- Epictetus
When you are offended at any man's fault,
turn to yourself and study your own failings.
Then you will forget your anger.
- Epictetus
If there is any one secret of success,
it lies in the ability to get
the other person's point of view
and see things from that person's angle
as well as from your own.
- Henry Ford
You cannot divorce religious belief and public service.
I've never detected any conflict between
God's will and my political duty.
If you violate one, you violate the other.
- Jimmy Carter
What's in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet
- William Shakespeare
Reading, after a certain age,
diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Once you respect yourself, there is no longer
any reason to disrespect anyone else.
Once you are confident of your own worthiness,
the worthiness of others ceases to be an issue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions,
it is governed by our mental attitude.
- Dale Carnegie
I claim to be a simple individual liable
to err like any other fellow mortal.
I own, however, that I have humility enough
to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Most everything in life is about our
point-of-view rather than any absolute.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Determine never to be idle.
No person will have occasion to complain
of the want of time who never loses any.
It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
- Thomas Jefferson
There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it
and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.
- Henry David Thoreau
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare
I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment,
failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer,
I should at once have been rightly cast aside.
- Winston Churchill
He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
- Henry David Thoreau
You must not under any pretense allow
your mind to dwell on any thought
that is not positive, constructive, optimistic, kind.
- Emmet Fox
Any appeasement of tyranny is treason.
- William Allen White
How can any man be weak who dares to be at all?
- Henry David Thoreau
Any man who wants to be president
is either an egomaniac or crazy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Your example is far more influential and inspiring
than any words of instruction, or threats,
or even words of encouragement.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The first step towards the solution
of any problem is optimism.
- John Baines
The dream you are living is your creation.
It is your perception of reality that you can change at any time.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Nothing external to you has any power over you.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you're doing your best,
you won't have any time to worry about failure.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Pessimism never won any battle.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
No individual has any right to come into the world
and go out of it without leaving something behind.
- George Washington Carver
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.