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Funny Emotions Quotes
Funny Quotes about Emotions

Let these funny Emotions Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I am a Passionate Observer of Life.
I See the events, feel the emotions,
and recognize the difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am not a slave to my thoughts or emotions.
- Richard Carlson PHOTO

Our stories are the window to our emotions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The human spirit ranges across a truly amazing
diversity of experiences and emotions -
the highest peaks and the lowest valleys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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I am the master of my emotions -
I transform fear to love, anger to compassion,
pain to comfort, scarcity to abundance,
expectation to gratitude, and jealousy to generosity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino

Our brain is the factory of the emotions
- don Miguel Ruiz


 

One strength of the communist system of the East
is that it has some of the character of a religion
and inspires the emotions of a religion.
- Albert Einstein

Know the power of perspective.
Be a passionate observer of life.
See the events, feel the emotions,
and recognize the difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions
such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Be an Observer of Life.
See the events, feel the emotions,
and recognize the difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino

Don't think you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment
without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania.
Appropriate rituals channel your emotions
and life energy toward the light.
Without the discipline to practice them,
you will tumble constantly backward into darkness.
- Lao Tzu

I recognize that the person I was in my past
is not the person I am today.
That person did the very best they could,
given the knowledge, emotions, and prior experience
they had to draw upon at the time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I forgive myself completely
for having created stories of suffering.
I forgive myself for all
my angers, resentments, jealousies,
and all the other emotions of suffering.
I have unbounded compassion for myself
at all times and under all circumstances.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A newborn does not have worry, or stress, or anger,
because they have not yet learned those things.
Consider what life would be like if you could
forget all the past resentments and perceived offenses
that color your thinking and your emotions.
Buddhists call that state "beginner mind" -
an opening to experience life
without the jaundiced filter of past disappointments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.
- Mae West

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
- Mark Twain

Anger is a destructive emotion
that becomes instinctive over the years.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where there is no emotion,
there is no motive for violence.
- the character Spock in the Star Trek television series

Emotion always has its roots in the unconscious,
and manifests itself in the body.
- Irene Claremont de Castillejo

Exercise free-will.
CHOOSE each and every action you make,
every thought you think,
and every emotion you feel.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There can be no transforming of darkness into light
and of apathy into movement without emotion.
- Carl Jung

I am a being of free-will,
and I CHOOSE each and every action I make,
every thought I think, and every emotion I feel.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other,
or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -
in fact, they're almost incompatible;
one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.
Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
- Robert Heinlein

Remember that "concern" is about the time, energy, and emotion
that we direct toward worrying about something or someone -
not whether we are for that something or against it.
However, nothing that we do for fun is ever a "concern."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of all true art and all science.
He to whom this emotion is a stranger,
who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein

Give your time and efforts freely or not at all.
When you are tempted to say,
"Oh, if I have to, I'll skip my golf game
and watch my daughter play soccer," don't do it.
Either generate the heart-felt emotion
to make the free-will gift,
"I'd love to watch your game today, Sandy,"
or the honesty to decline the request gracefully.
Martyrdom doesn't create happiness
for any of the parties involved.
An honest, "No" is preferable to a coerced "Yes."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Real love is never a selfish emotion.
If you want something from someone -
especially if that something is sex -
what you are feeling is not true love.
True love is about wanting happiness for the person you love -
and not about seeking happiness for yourself.
Fortunately, in most cases our own loving presence
is the greatest gift we can give to a person we love.
Nonetheless, the litmus test of love is knowing
we would choose never to see that person again
if we believed that distance would bring them greater happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The River of Life flows without emotion.
The River surges. The River quiets.
The River overflows its banks. The River dries to a trickle.
The River swirls and storms. The River becomes calm.
The River runs clear. The River runs dark with silt.
The River is indifferent to what benefit
or what harm is caused by its water.
The River is the River, and that is all there is to it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Being angry harms your physical,
emotional, and spiritual well-being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Pain is what the world inflicts upon us.
Suffering is our emotional reaction when we fail
to make the difficult conscious choice to choose Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are colors and feelings and emotional terrain
that we occupy that is ours and ours alone.
- Bono

Learn to become still. And to take your attention
away from what you don't want, and all the emotional charge around it,
and place your attention on what you wish to experience.
- Michael Beckwith

People sort themselves into groups
of happy people and unhappy people
through two different, but complementary mechanisms,
influence and affinity.
I influence those around me
with my emotional state, either happy or unhappy.
At the same time, I feel an affinity
for others who are like me in some way -
in this case by sharing my emotional outlook on life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A system of morality which is based
on relative emotional values
is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception
which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.
- Socrates

That deep emotional conviction of the presence
of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed
in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God.
- Albert Einstein

During his training, a baseball player strives
to make each swing better than the last.
The repetition of a faulty swing would be worse than useless.
It would ingrain bad habits.
The same is true of emotional responses.
If we allow ourselves to continue to have the same angry responses,
we just entrench our anger habit.
But if we strive - through consciousness, visualization, and coaching -
to moderate our anger response,
over time, we can train ourselves to respond
to events as we choose - without anger.
You can't magically be free from anger tomorrow,
but you can put yourself on your own training program
that will reduce the frequency and intensity
of your anger response day by day, year by year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I accept that no one else has ever been to blame
for either my joy or my suffering.
The entire cause of all my joys and all my sufferings
is my own emotional response to the events of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal

Once you have seen the truth
you must make the decision to let go
of the pain, anger, and resentment you have been holding on to.
This requires you to take action.
If you are attached to your pain, resentment,
and self-righteousness, and addicted to your emotional reactions,
this will be a difficult step for you.
Taking action requires letting go of the very thing
you have been holding on to for so many years.
There is comfort in what we find familiar,
even if we are experiencing pain and suffering.
The pain and suffering itself becomes the familiarity we seek.
It takes absolute faith in yourself
plus courage, will, and discipline to let go.
But once you let go, it will be as if
the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders.
In this process it is important to forgive
not just the others in our lives, but also ourselves.
For most people, giving ourselves
the gift of forgiveness is very challenging.
- Sheri Rosenthal

The limitation of riots, moral questions aside,
is that they cannot win and their participants know it.
Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary
because it invites defeat.
It involves an emotional catharsis,
but it must be followed by a sense of futility.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Liar is a strong word, but we are all liars.
Not in the sense of intentionally speaking untruths,
but in the sense of carrying so much historical
and emotional baggage that none of us is believable.
To lie means to speak an untruth,
and virtually everything that comes out of our mouth
is an untruth - an opinion, an assumption,
a point-of-view based on our past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

U2 is an original species...
there are colors and feelings and emotional terrain
that we occupy that is ours and ours alone.
- Bono

If you doubt the virtue in self-honor,
remember what the flight attendant says,
"Put your own oxygen mask on first."
You are of no use to anyone else
if you have not taken care of your own needs first -
this includes your own emotional,
as well as physical, well-being.
In addition, your greatest value to your children,
your family, your friends, and your community
is the example you set, leading a great life that inspires
those around you to emulate your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Forgive Myself and All Others with Compassion -
I forgive everyone, especially myself,
for all actions and all inactions throughout my entire life.
I accept that no one else has ever been to blame
for either my joy or my suffering.
The entire cause of all my joys and all my sufferings
is my own emotional response to the events of my life,
and I am committed to consistently distinguishing
between my feelings about events
and the physical occurrence of those events.
I declare that everyone who has ever played any role
in any of the events of my life is entirely without fault.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is not our place to know the mind of God.
Spirit knows what is best in the long run -
best for each of us individually,
and best for humanity as a whole.
This is often very difficult to accept
when we see war and disease in the world
and experience physical and emotional suffering
in ourselves, our family, and our friends.
I consider this belief in God's infinite power
and ultimate wisdom to be the true test of faith.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have gratitude for EVERYTHING that has ever occurred
to bring me to this moment.
I accept that no one else is ever to blame
for either my joy or my suffering.
The entire cause of all my joys and all my sufferings
is my own emotional response to the events of my life,
and I am committed to consistently distinguishing
between my feelings about events
and the physical occurrences of those events.
I declare that everyone who has ever played
any role in any of the events of my life
is entirely without fault.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I write emotional algebra.
- Anais Nin

Is a belief a perception of the five senses,
or is it a perception of emotional feeling?
Is it better to say "I sense" and/or "I feel"?
Is it better to say " I know" than "I believe"?
Is belief based on experience or on a idea?
My thinking is that belief/believing is a very missed used word.
- Anonymous

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

This report, by its very length, defends itself
against the risk of being read.
- Winston Churchill

This being grown up isn't all it's cracked up to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon

Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov

The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank

Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous

Each of us dwells in a cathedral of our own BEing
that is created vast enough to encompass Unity with all creation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.