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Funny Delivering Quotes
Funny Quotes about Delivering

Let these funny Delivering Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I give thanks for everything that has occurred
to bring me to this moment in time.
Every event that has ever occurred in my life
has played a crucial role in delivering me to this instant.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

As she passed among the hungry and the dejected,
delivering the rations and water,
she chanted in a low whisper,
"the spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul" ...
"the spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul" ...
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I trust my intuition to deliver inspiring visions of my future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you have to have it, it's ego.
If you have to not have it, it's ego.
Hold life lightly and it will deliver what you need
and release what you don't.
- Alan Cohen


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Do what you love, love what you do,
and deliver more than you promise.
- Harvey McKay

I trust my intuition to deliver
powerful visions of my inspired future,
and I empower my intent to
transform those visions into reality.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Opening my mind to Spirit, I trust my intuition to deliver
powerful visions of my inspired future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Dream with Powerful Vision:
I open my mind to Spirit,
and trust my intuition to deliver inspiring visions of my future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I open my mind to Spirit, and trust my intuition
to deliver inspiring visions of my future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Dream with Powerful Intention -
Opening my mind to Spirit, I trust my intuition
to deliver powerful visions of my inspired future,
and I empower my intent to transform those visions into reality.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I decided that it was not wisdom that
enabled poets to write their poetry,
but a kind of instinct or inspiration,
such as you find in seers and prophets
who deliver all their sublime messages
without knowing in the least what they mean.
- Socrates

I recognize the delivery of grace to my day,
even if I cannot identify a specific return address.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Through humor, you can soften some
of the worst blows that life delivers.
And once you find laughter,
no matter how painful your situation might be,
you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby

If we fail to plan, we merely bob helplessly -
like a cork on the sea of life.
If we resist whatever life delivers to us,
we create untold misery for ourselves.
If we act with vision and commitment,
and then accept whatever Spirit provides,
we live a life of purpose and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;
my God, my strength, in whom I will trust.
- Psalm 18:2

The wise man in the storm prays God,
not for safety from danger,
but for deliverance from fear.
It is the storm within which endangers him,
not the storm without.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened.
- Lao Tzu

Take risks: if you win, you will be happy;
if you lose, you will be wise.
- Anonymous

See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
- Japanese pictorial maxim (the Three Wise Monkeys)

Self-pity is our worst enemy
and if we yield to it,
we can never do anything wise in this world.
- Helen Keller

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe

No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller

Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone
what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers.
You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.
- Naguib Mahfouz

The wise ones fashioned speech with their thought,
sifting it as grain is sifted through a sieve.
- The Buddha

When you are winning a war
almost everything that happens
can be claimed to be right and wise.
- Winston Churchill

Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it.
- Publilius Syrus

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance;
the wise grows it under his feet.
- J. Robert Oppenheimer

It is noted that a stopped clock is correct twice each day.
In a similar manner, a person who is unchanging appears wise occasionally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a wise father that knows his own child.
- William Shakespeare

The wise man looks back into the past,
and does not grieve over what is far off,
nor rejoice over what is near;
for he knows that time is without end.
- Lao Tzu

The wise man does not lay up his own treasures.
The more he gives to others, the more he has for his own.
- Lao Tzu

I have always been regretting that
I was not as wise as the day I was born.
- Henry David Thoreau

Wise men put their trust in ideas
and not in circumstances
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
- Albert Einstein

If you wish to succeed in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor,
caution your elder brother,
and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison

The wise man looks into space,
and does not regard the small as too little,
nor the great as too much;
for he knows that there is no limit to dimensions.
- Lao Tzu

Everyone is wise, until he speaks.
- Irish proverb

The two powers which in my opinion constitute a wise man
are those of bearing and forbearing.
- Epictetus

It is the nature of the wise to resist pleasures,
but the foolish to be a slave to them.
- Epictetus

Early to bed and early to rise,
makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
- Benjamin Franklin

He is a wise man who does not grieve
for the things which he has not,
but rejoices for those which he has.
- Epictetus

An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere,
while the pessimist sees only the red stoplight.
The truly wise person is colorblind.
- Albert Schweitzer

A wise man can learn more from a foolish question
than a fool can learn from a wise answer.
- Bruce Lee

A wise man will make haste to forgive,
because he knows the true value of time,
and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.
- Samuel Johnson

It is always wise to look ahead,
but difficult to look further than you can see.
- Winston Churchill

All this worldly wisdom was once
the unamiable heresy of some wise man.
- Henry David Thoreau

A wise man hears one word and understands two.
- Yiddish Proverb

Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down
on the tracks of history
to wait for the train of the future to run over him.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

It cannot be wisdom to assert the truth of one faith over another.
In our troubled world so full of contradictions,
the wise person makes justice his guide and learns from all.
- Akbar the Great (1542-1605)

Thoughtful people seldom share exactly the same opinion -
the same point-of-view.
The wise ones understand that they know nothing -
for virtually none of our experience is truly factual -
and they graciously honor all other opinions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A wise and frugal government,
which shall leave men free to regulate
their own pursuits of industry and improvement,
and shall not take from the mouth
of labor and the bread it has earned -
this is the sum of good government.
- Thomas Jefferson

A wise one said, "We are most like God when we forgive."
It is easy for us to blame, but hard for us to forgive.
Yet that is what we are called upon to do -
to forgive everyone for everything.
And the reward?
In this life, the reward for forgiveness
is your own happiness.
Unconditional universal forgiveness is
the key to your own happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every day is a new beginning -
a day for a new plan and new action.
If today, in conscious awareness, you choose
the same plan as yesterday, you are wise.
If you choose a different plan, you are equally wise.
Whatever you choose, choose with intention.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Excellence is the result of
caring more than others think wise,
risking more than other's think safe,
dreaming more than others think practical,
and expecting more than others think possible.
- Anonymous

To be idle is a short road to death
and to be diligent is a way of life;
foolish people are idle,
wise people are diligent.
- The Buddha

Laws are sand, customs are rock.
Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped,
but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
The penalty may be unfair, unrighteous, illogical, and a cruelty;
no matter, it will be inflicted, just the same.
Certainly, then, there can be but one wise thing
for a visiting stranger to do -
find out what the country's customs are,
and refrain from offending against them.
- Mark Twain

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon

It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.