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Funny Chanted Quotes
Funny Quotes about Chanted

Let these funny Chanted Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

As she passed among the hungry and the dejected,
delivering the rations and water,
she chanted in a low whisper,
"the spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul" ...
"the spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul" ...
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Chanting OM is sort of like MOOing backward.
- Anonymous

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous

It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)


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Prejudice is a two-edged sword.
Like the steel sort of sword, it's very sharp, very useful,
and very dangerous if not properly mastered.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Tradition is like a second-hand store.
It is best to sort carefully
between the treasures and the trash.
See everything with new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
which I have got a hold of for the moment,
and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible
before handing it on to future generations.
- George Bernard Shaw


 

People sort themselves into groups
of happy people and unhappy people
through two different, but complementary mechanisms,
influence and affinity.
I influence those around me
with my emotional state, either happy or unhappy.
At the same time, I feel an affinity
for others who are like me in some way -
in this case by sharing my emotional outlook on life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Change of any sort requires courage.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Apathy is a sort of living oblivion.
- Horace Greeley

Many of us have been conditioned to trust others' opinions
more than our own, and I believe that sort of trust is excessive.
This is especially true with regard to authority figures -
doctors, lawyers, priests. I trust my doctor's intentions toward me,
but I don't blindly follow his suggestions
without checking other sources also.
He was trained to prescribe a pill for everything,
and does it with the best of intentions,
but I often choose to trust God's quiet voice inside me
rather than my doctor's medical advice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mind can never be intelligent - only no-mind is intelligent.
Only no-mind is original and radical.
Only no-mind is revolutionary - revolution in action.
The mind gives you a sort of stupor.
Burdened by the memories of the past,
burdened by the projections of the future,
you go on living - at the minimum.
You dont live at the maximum.
Your flame remains very dim.
Once you start dropping thoughts,
the dust that you have collected in the past,
the flame arises - clean, clear, alive, young.
Your whole life becomes a flame,
and a flame without any smoke.
That is what awareness is.
- Osho

I am turned into a sort of machine for observing facts
and grinding out conclusions.
- Charles Darwin

The basic thing nobody asks is
why do people take drugs of any sort?
Why do we have these accessories to normal living to live?
I mean, is there something wrong with society
that's making us so pressurized,
that we cannot live without guarding ourselves against it?
- John Lennon

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous

I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

There is more of good nature than of good sense
at the bottom of most marriages.
- Henry David Thoreau

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
- Groucho Marx

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
- Samuel Johnson [also attributed to Oscar Wilde]

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -
a practice which is still continued.
- Helen Rowland

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Anonymous

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell,
it is simply purgatory.
- Abraham Lincoln

Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect.
If it's not based on respect,
nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
- Amy Grant


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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