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Let these funny Content Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
He is richest who is content with the least,
for content is the wealth of nature.
- Socrates
Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill
My great concern is not whether you have failed,
but whether you are content with your failure.
- Abraham Lincoln
You should never be content with so little,
when you can reach out for something big.
- Charles L. Allen
(This quote is about making a big difference
in the world - not about greed)
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The greatest wealth is to live content with little.
- Plato
The mystery of the beginning
of all things is insoluble by us;
and I for one, must be content to remain an agnostic.
- Charles Darwin
Be content with what you have,
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.
- Lao Tzu
People disparage knowing and the intellectual life,
and urge doing.
I am content with knowing, if only I could know.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When you are content to be simply yourself
and don't compare or compete,
everybody will respect you.
- Lao Tzu
He is richest who is content with the least.
- Socrates
Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence,
and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
- Helen Keller
If you want to improve,
be content to be thought foolish and stupid.
- Epictetus
I have a dream that my four little children will one day
live in a nation where they will
not be judged by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I look to a day when people will not be judged
by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
One cannot have a mind that is empty of all thoughts,
but one can have a mind that is content with
whatever thoughts fill it at the moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Find your balance and stand with it.
Find your song and sing it out.
Find your cadence and let it appear like a dance.
Find the questions that only you know how to ask and
The answers that you are content to not know.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Man's task is to become conscious of the contents
that press upward from the unconscious.
- Carl Jung
He who is contented is rich.
- Lao Tzu
If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap
whence everyone must take an equal portion,
most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
- Socrates
There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
You may be always victorious if
you will never enter into any contest
where the issue does not wholly depend upon yourself.
- Epictetus
When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.