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Let these funny Scalpel Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The truth is like a scalpel. The truth is painful.
- don Miguel Ruiz
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Truth is a tendency.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.
- Stephanie Klein
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde
The rarest quality in an epitaph is truth.
- Henry David Thoreau
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- Will Rogers
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks
Truth is stranger than fiction,
but that is because Fiction is obliged
to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
- Mark Twain
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
If you are out to describe the truth,
leave elegance to the tailor.
- Albert Einstein
If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling
The words of truth are always paradoxical.
- Lao Tzu
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer
The water in a vessel is sparkling;
the water in the sea is dark.
The small truth has words which are clear;
the great truth has great silence.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge
and the dissemination of truth.
- John F. Kennedy
A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison
Our actions are constrained by fear of reprisal,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman
Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Khalil Gibran
Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau
We take refuge in pride,
because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves.
- Kakuzo Okakura
The presence of those seeking the truth
is infinitely to be preferred
to the presence of those who think they've found it.
- Terry Pratchett
The truth is a snare:
you cannot have it, without being caught.
You cannot have the truth
in such a way that you catch it,
but only in such a way that it catches you.
- Soren Kierkegaard
In wartime, truth is so precious that she
should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies.
- Winston Churchill
Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All perception of truth
is the detection of an analogy;
we reason from our hands to our head.
- Henry David Thoreau
Truth is certainly a branch of morality
and a very important one to society.
- Thomas Jefferson
Even if you are a minority of one,
the truth is the truth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The search for truth is more precious than its possession.
- Albert Einstein
Love is the ultimate meaning of everything around us.
Love is not a mere sentiment.
Love is the ultimate truth at the heart of creation.
- Rabindranath Tagore
I am committed to truth, not consistency.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If you shut the door to all errors,
truth will be shut out.
- Rabindranath Tagore
In all of his bestsellers, the Divine has told the truth,
custom-tailored to the comprehension of the times.
- Ernest Holmes
Even the truth, when believed, is a lie.
You must experience the truth, not believe it.
- Werner Erhard
Above all, don't lie to yourself.
The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie
comes to a point that he cannot
distinguish the truth within him, or around him,
and so loses all respect for himself and for others.
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky
I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love
will have the final word in reality.
That is why right, temporarily defeated,
is stronger than evil triumphant.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth
- not going all the way and not starting.
- The Buddha
If you have found your truth within yourself
there is nothing more in this whole existence to find.
- Osho
Beauty is truth's smile when she beholds
her own face in a perfect mirror.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.
- Carl Jung
Knowledge of the Truth makes us free
by aligning us with that which was never bound.
- Ernest Holmes
Men occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of them pick themselves up
and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill
All the religions of the world,
while they may differ in other respects,
unitedly proclaim that nothing lives in this world but Truth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous
God is, even though the whole world deny him.
Truth stands, even if there be no public support.
It is self-sustained.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth;
not going all the way, and not starting.
- The Buddha
No face which we can give to a matter
will stead us so well at last as the truth.
This alone wears well.
- Henry David Thoreau
Fear is not in the habit of speaking truth.
- Publius Cornelius Tacitus
A lie travels round the world while
truth is putting her boots on.
- French Proverb
(also attributed to Mark Twain, Winston Churchill, and others)
Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth,
and if a man does not know what a thing is,
it is at least an increase in knowledge
if he knows what it is not.
- Carl Jung
You must accept the truth from whatever source it comes.
- Maimonides
Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong
What people believe prevails over the truth.
- Sophocles
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.