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Let these funny Relationships Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Careers and relationships also have their cycles
of birth, growth, and death -
to be followed by rebirth and the renewal of the cycle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our relationships live in the space between us which is sacred.
- Martin Buber
Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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The glue that holds all relationships together -
including the relationship between; the leader and the led
is trust, and trust is based on integrity.
- Brian Tracy
Science merely quantifies and documents
the relationships among miracles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It seems essential, in relationships and all tasks,
that we concentrate only
on what is most significant and important.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Our relationships - love and friendship -
are at the core of the meaning of our lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Well, it seems to me that the best relationships -
the ones that last -
are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship.
You know, one day you look at the person
and you see something more than you did the night before.
Like a switch has been flicked somewhere.
And the person who was just a friend is...
suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.
- Dana Scully
Do you not know that there comes a midnight hour
when every one has to throw off his mask?
Do you believe that life will always let itself be mocked?
Do you think you can slip away a little before midnight
in order to avoid this? Or are you not terrified by it?
I have seen men in real life who so long deceived others
that at last their true nature could not reveal itself;...
In every man there is something which to a certain degree
prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself;
and this may be the case in so high a degree,
he may be so inexplicably woven into relationships of life
which extend far beyond himself that he almost cannot reveal himself.
But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love,
and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Great relationships begin with two people who are each
self confident and who come to each other with the openness
to see and accept the other as a unique and wonderful person.
If there is true love and an alignment of fundamental values,
choose to join your life with your new partner
and vow never to criticize their nature -
the essence that makes them uniquely themselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents.
- Margaret Mead
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp
Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray
Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.
- Mike Murdock
It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich
Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor
He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.
- Roe Fulkerson
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.
- Anonymous
To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran
Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)
A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.