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Let these funny Pulls Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It is far more important to be able to hit the target
than it is to haggle over who makes a weapon or who pulls a trigger.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings,
and so, give them the power to pull ours.
- Aldous Huxley
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
My experience has been that work is
almost the best way to pull oneself out of the depths.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish.
Push it, and it will go nowhere at all.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Love your Neighbor; yet don't pull down your Hedge.
- Benjamin Franklin
Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another,
but let him work diligently and build one for himself,
thus by example assuring that his own
shall be safe from violence when built.
- Abraham Lincoln
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
None of us got where we are solely by
pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.
- Thurgood Marshall
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
Some people regard private enterprise
as a predatory tiger to be shot.
Others look on it as a cow they can milk.
Not enough people see it
as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon.
- Winston Churchill
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Marriage is neither heaven nor hell,
it is simply purgatory.
- Abraham Lincoln
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
- Samuel Johnson [also attributed to Oscar Wilde]
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
There is more of good nature than of good sense
at the bottom of most marriages.
- Henry David Thoreau
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
- Groucho Marx
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -
a practice which is still continued.
- Helen Rowland
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous
My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Anonymous
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect.
If it's not based on respect,
nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
- Amy Grant
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.