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Let these funny Poisonous Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
TIME is poisonous construct of our rattlesnake minds.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
TIME is yet another poisonous construct
of our rattlesnake minds.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Politics are very much like war.
We may even have to use poison gas at times.
- Winston Churchill
Good humor is the health of the soul,
sadness is its poison.
- Lord Chesterfield
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Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind
... Don't Let It Poison Your Day.
Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind
... the Antidote is Perspective.
Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind
... Your Mind is Only Useful When Tamed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt.
Doubt separates people.
It is a poison that disintegrates
friendships and breaks up pleasant relations.
It is a thorn that irritates and hurts;
it is a sword that kills.
- The Buddha
NECESSITY and URGENCY are twin poisons of our rattlesnake minds.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Money is not required to buy one necessity of the soul.
- Henry David Thoreau
Necessity is the mother of invention.
- Proverb
The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem.
It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
- Albert Einstein
Necessity never made a good bargain.
- Benjamin Franklin
Our real problem, then, is not our strength today;
it is rather the vital necessity of action today
to ensure our strength tomorrow.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The creation of something new
is not accomplished by the intellect
but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity.
The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.
- Carl Jung
There is One Infinite Mind,
which of necessity includes all that is,
whether it be the intelligence in man,
the life in the animal,
or the invisible Presence which is God.
- Ernest Holmes
Geography has made us neighbors.
History has made us friends.
Economics has made us partners,
and necessity has made us allies.
Those whom God has so joined together,
let no man put asunder.
- John F. Kennedy
By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
You can't go home again because home has ceased to exist
except in the mothballs of memory.
- John Steinbeck (Travels With Charley)
What is happiness except the simple harmony
between a man and the life he leads?
- Albert Camus
If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus
Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie
A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson (baseball player)
There are people in the world so hungry,
that God cannot appear to them
except in the form of bread.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Do not look for approval
except for the consciousness of doing your best.
- Andrew Carnegie
Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton
We do not covet anything from any nation except their respect.
- Winston Churchill
Use what talents you possess.
The woods would be very silent
if no birds sang there,
except those that sang best.
- Henry Van Dyke
No one can find inner peace except by working,
not in a self-centered way, but for the whole human family.
- Peace Pilgrim
There is nothing permanent except change.
- Heraclitus
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government,
except all the others that have been tried.
- Winston Churchill
There is joy in work.
There is no happiness except in the realization
that we have accomplished something.
- Henry Ford
We cannot command Nature except by obeying her.
- Francis Bacon
Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey
There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it
and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.
- Henry David Thoreau
The future has nothing in common with the past -
except natural laws and human nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is no hope of joy except in human relations.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
You can conquer almost any fear
if you will only make up your mind to do so.
For remember, fear doesn't exist
anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie
No one is to be called an enemy,
all are your benefactors, and no one does you harm.
You have no enemy except yourselves.
- St. Francis of Assisi
You have not been abandoned.
You are never alone, except by your own choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing can bring a real sense of security
into the home except true love.
- Billy Graham
I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
- Socrates
When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have no dress except the one I wear every day.
If you are going to be kind enough to give me one,
please let it be practical and dark
so that I can put it on afterwards to go to the laboratory.
- Marie Curie
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.