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Let these funny Muses Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The virtues, like the Muses, are always seen in groups.
A good principle was never found solitary in any breast.
- The Buddha
Spend time every day listening to what your muse is trying to tell you.
- Saint Bartholomew
The Moon Cannot Be Stolen:
A thief entered the little hut of a Zen Master,
but discovered there was nothing to steal.
The Zen Master discovered the thief.
"You have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler,
"and you should not return empty-handed.
Please take my clothes as a gift."
The thief was bewildered,
but he took the clothes and slunk away.
The Zen Master sat naked, watching the moon.
"Poor fellow," he mused,
"I wish I could have given him this beautiful moon."
- Traditional Zen Koan
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
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Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy
Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Well, when you come down to it,
I don't see that a reporter could do much to a president, do you?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
People make a big fuss over you when you're President.
But I'm very serious about doing everything I can
to make sure that it doesn't go to my head.
- Jimmy Carter
Oh, that lovely title, ex-president.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
You know, everybody makes mistakes when they are president.
- William J. Clinton
I am not the Catholic candidate for President.
I am the Democratic Party's candidate for President,
who happens also to be a Catholic.
- John F. Kennedy
In my country we go to prison first, and then become President.
- Nelson Mandela
Campaign behavior for wives:
Always be on time.
Do as little talking as humanly possible.
Lean back in the parade car
so everybody can see the president.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill
a president of the United States, he can do it.
All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's.
- John F. Kennedy
We must make it clear that a platform
of "I hate gay men and women'
is not a way to become president of the United States.
- Jimmy Carter
I look forward to these confrontations with the press
to kind of balance up the nice and pleasant things
that come to me as president.
- Jimmy Carter
Any man who wants to be president
is either an egomaniac or crazy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I think this is the most extraordinary
collection of talent, of human knowledge,
that has ever been gathered at the White House -
with the possible exception of
when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.
- John F. Kennedy
Allow the president to invade a neighboring nation,
whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion,
and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose
to say he deems it necessary for such a purpose -
and you allow him to make war at pleasure.
- Abraham Lincoln
Men are what their mothers made them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.
- Jewish Proverb
The being of our mothers is forever branded onto our own being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe
It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein
My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
- George Washington
In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau
It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau
When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln
Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men
is primarily based on mutual trust
and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.
- Albert Einstein
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard
It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson
The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy
My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee
The revelation of thought takes men
out of servitude into freedom.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Henry David Thoreau
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
as when they do it from religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher
Man becomes great exactly in the degree
in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
When men are easy in their circumstances,
they are naturally enemies to innovations.
- Joseph Addison
Shallow men believe in luck.
Strong men believe in cause and effect.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are times, sir, when men of good conscience
cannot blindly follow orders.
- Captain Picard, STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Instead of noblemen,
let us have noble villages of men.
- Henry David Thoreau
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.