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Let these funny Emptiness Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Once I knew only darkness and stillness ...
my life was without past or future ...
but a little word from the fingers of another
fell into my hand that clutched at emptiness,
and my heart leaped to the rapture of living.
- Helen Keller
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.
- Albert Einstein
Life is empty and meaningless
because life is empty and meaningless.
- Werner Erhard
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When we talk about democracy, if the people's
stomach is empty, democracy is also empty.
Democracy can not be installed by fiat;
it must be achieved by the people themselves.
- Jimmy Yen
Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow...
but only empties today of its strength.
- C. H. Spurgeon
The nature of life is to be
a study of contrasts: joy/sadness, full/empty.
The Main Thing is to Keep The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey
One cannot have a mind that is empty of all thoughts,
but one can have a mind that is content with
whatever thoughts fill it at the moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Overflowing Cup of Tea:
The Zen Master poured his visitor's teacup full, and then kept pouring.
The visitor watched until he could no longer restrain himself.
"It is overfull. No more will go in!"
"Like this cup," the Zen Master said,
"you are full of your own opinions and assumptions.
How can you learn truth until you first empty your cup?"
- Traditional Zen Koan
Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don't open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
- Rumi (Persian poet 1207-1273)
The Moon Cannot Be Stolen:
A thief entered the little hut of a Zen Master,
but discovered there was nothing to steal.
The Zen Master discovered the thief.
"You have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler,
"and you should not return empty-handed.
Please take my clothes as a gift."
The thief was bewildered,
but he took the clothes and slunk away.
The Zen Master sat naked, watching the moon.
"Poor fellow," he mused,
"I wish I could have given him this beautiful moon."
- Traditional Zen Koan
Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
If a man empties his purse into his head,
no man can take it away from him.
An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
- Benjamin Franklin
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson
Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
- John Lennon
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth
Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.