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Funny Adviser Quotes
Funny Quotes about Adviser

Let these funny Adviser Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.
- Albert Einstein

It is a wonderful advantage to a man,
in every pursuit or avocation,
to secure an adviser in a sensible woman.
In woman there is at once a subtle delicacy of tact,
and a plain soundness of judgement,
which are rarely combined to an equal degree in man.
A woman, if she be really your friend,
will have a sensitive regard for your character, honor, repute.
She will seldom counsel you to do a shabby thing:
for a woman friend always desires to be proud of you.
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton

A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I


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The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


 

Where large sums of money are concerned,
it is advisable to trust nobody.
- Agatha Christie

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)

The jump is so frightening
between where I am,
and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become,
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb

Everyone who got where he is,
had to begin where he was.
- Richard L. Evans

Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather

Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou

Where there is no accusation of "fault,"
there can be no anger.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci

You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott

Joy blooms where minds and hearts are open.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland

Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.
- Jonas Salk

Where there is no emotion,
there is no motive for violence.
- the character Spock in the Star Trek television series

Life is a process of becoming,
a combination of states we have to go through.
Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state
and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
- Anais Nin

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach

Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Give a boy address and accomplishments
and you give him the mastery
of palaces and fortunes where he goes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank

I was born on the prairies where the wind blew free
and there was nothing to break the light of the sun.
I was born where there were no enclosures.
- Geronimo

Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.
- Oprah Winfrey

None of us got where we are solely by
pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.
- Thurgood Marshall

Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain

It is by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.
- Joseph Campbell

Greatness is not in where we stand,
but in what direction we are moving.
We must sail sometimes with the wind
and sometimes against it -
but sail we must,
and not drift, nor lie at anchor.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The world turns aside to let any man pass
who knows where he is going.
- Epictetus

Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air.
They are where they should be.
Now put the foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau

To live is to choose. But to choose well,
you must know who you are and what you stand for,
where you want to go and why you want to get there.
- Kofi Annan

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time
- T. S. Eliot

Footprints in the sand...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Pay attention.
Don't let resentments or pessimism answer for you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Follow your bliss and doors will open
where there were no doors before.
- Joseph Campbell

Where ignorance is our master,
there is no possibility of real peace.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

A democracy is nothing more than mob rule,
where fifty-one percent of the people
may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.
- attributed to Thomas Jefferson

Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict
between thinking and feeling.
- Carl Jung

It is better to have your head in the clouds,
and know where you are...
than to breathe the clearer atmosphere below them,
and think that you are in paradise.
- Henry David Thoreau

Trust in what you love, continue to do it,
and it will take you where you need to go.
- Natalie Goldberg

Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
- Confucius

Only aim to do your duty,
and mankind will give you credit where you fail.
- Thomas Jefferson

Washington, where an insignificant individual
may trespass on a nation's time.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Where there is an observatory and a telescope,
we expect that any eyes will see new worlds at once.
- Henry David Thoreau

Compassion blooms where there is no expectation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where are you going? Where does your path lead?
You can never know the future, yet wandering aimlessly
is unlikely to be the source of a fulfilling life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be a yardstick of quality.
Some people aren't used to an environment
where excellence is expected.
- Steve Jobs

Could we see when and where we are to meet again,
we would be more tender when we bid our friends goodbye.
- Ouida

How often I found where I should be going
only by setting out for somewhere else.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Find a place inside where there's joy,
and the joy will burn out the pain.
- Joseph Campbell

Where fear is, happiness is not.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Where love reigns, there is no will to power;
and where the will to power is paramount, love is lacking.
The one is but the shadow of the other.
- Carl Jung

My dream is of a place and a time where America
will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth.
- Abraham Lincoln

The sacred altar of all existence
is where we meet our ancestors
and our descendants yet unborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands
in moments of comfort and convenience,
but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The only place where your dream becomes impossible
is in your own thinking.
- Robert H. Schuller

The will of God will never take you
to where the grace of God will not protect you.
- Anonymous


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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