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Let these funny Fingers Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Ambition has one heel nailed in well,
though she stretch her fingers to touch the heavens.
- Lao Tzu
Have a talk with your mind
(it really is something separate from yourself).
Lay down the law.
"My life begins TODAY.
I am like a newborn.
I have what I have today;
I have my fingers, my toes,
some people in my life,
some material and financial state.
Yesterday is only a dream -
perhaps a nightmare,
perhaps a cherished memory,
but only a dream - nothing more.
I will make all decisions and actions based solely
on what I have today as a starting point."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Once I knew only darkness and stillness ...
my life was without past or future ...
but a little word from the fingers of another
fell into my hand that clutched at emptiness,
and my heart leaped to the rapture of living.
- Helen Keller
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
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If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives.
- Albert Schweitzer
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon,
but that we wait so long to begin it.
- Anonymous
In human intercourse the tragedy begins,
not when there is misunderstanding about words,
but when silence is not understood.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life is not a tragedy, it is a comedy.
To be alive means to have a sense of humor.
- Osho
There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle
than the courage of a final moment;
but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy.
- John F. Kennedy
You have a choice about the perspective you take on life.
See tragedy, and the world is tragic -
see beauty, and the world is beautiful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression
and cruelty by the bad people
but the silence over that by the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
History will have to record that the greatest tragedy
of this period of social transition
was not the strident clamor of the bad people,
but the appalling silence of the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
- Benjamin E. Mays
The effort to understand the universe is one
of the very few things that lifts human life
a little above the level of farce,
and gives it some of the grace of tragedy.
- Steven Weinberg
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry
Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.