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Funny Lot Quotes
Funny Quotes about Lot

Let these funny Lot Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
- Groucho Marx

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
- Kevin Nealon

Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)


 

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

Just remember, after they foreclose on your mortgage,
you get a lot more sunshine in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother
rather than all major credit cards.
- Robert Orben


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Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.
- John Lennon

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving.
I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.
- William J. Clinton

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

Time goes by a lot slower when you miss the one you love.
- Anonymous

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so
much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.
- Josh Billings

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things,
but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
- Andy Rooney

If you just watch a teenager, you see a lot of uncertainty.
- Jamie Lee Curtis

When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad
that we don't have a system where the losing team has
to pay the winning team's lawyers.
- Carol Burnett

A lot of people get impatient with the pace of change.
- James Levine

You know, a lot of people are just interested in,
in building a company so they can make money and get out.
- Arthur Rock

We all have dreams.
But in order to make dreams come into reality,
it takes an awful lot of determination,
dedication, self-discipline, and effort.
- Jesse Owens

A fool and his money get a lot of publicity.
- Al Bernstein

We've got to put a lot of money into changing behavior.
- Bill Gates

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper.
About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer
is garbage that no one ever reads.
- Andy Rooney

Women have a lot to say about how to advance women's rights,
and governments need to learn from that,
listen to the movement and respond.
- Charlotte Bunch

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
- Erma Bombeck

I plant a lot of trees.
I am a great believer in planting things for future generations.
I loathe the now culture where you just live for today.
- Penelope Keith

It's easy to make a buck.
It's a lot tougher to make a difference.
- Tom Brokaw

Just in terms of allocation of time resources,
religion is not very efficient.
There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning.
- Bill Gates

I'm a '70s mom, and my daughter is a '90s mom.
I know a lot of women my age who are real computer freaks.
- Florence Henderson

Choose! If it's worth doing, do it today.
If it's not worth doing today, save yourself a lot
of worry and regret by choosing to permanently
erase it from your to-do list.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married,
and another list of the reasons for their divorce,
you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.
- Mignon McLaughlin

Health food may be good for the conscience but Oreos
taste a hell of a lot better.
- Robert Redford

The big difference between sex for money and sex for
free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
- Brendan Behan

I'm by no means condemning prescription medicine for mental health.
I've seen it save a lot of people's lives.
- Zach Braff

Building technical systems involves a lot of hard work
and specialized knowledge:
languages and protocols,
coding and debugging, testing and refactoring.
- Jesse James Garrett

I know a lot of people think I'm dumb.
Well, at least I ain't no educated fool.
- Leon Spinks

I'm afraid I talk a lot, too much, perhaps.
I should have been a lawyer or a college professor or a windy politician,
though I'm glad I am not any of these.
- Tom Glazer

My definition of success is to live your life in a way
that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain -
and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel
a lot more pleasure than they do pain.
- Tony Robbins

You can make a lot of money in this game.
Just ask my ex-wives.
Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
- Lee Trevino

When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill

I have a lot of very close girlfriends and sisters -
I'm from an all female family.
My father often quips that even the cat was neutered!
- Shirley Manson

I love spaghetti and meatballs...
I eat a lot.
- Susan Lucci

When I was a teenager, I read a lot of Poe.
- Dario Argento

The cars we drive say a lot about us.
- Alexandra Paul

For a lot of people, the weekly paycheck is 'take-home
pay' because home is the only place they can afford to go with it.
- Charles A. Jaffe

It seems that every time mankind is given a lot of energy,
we go out and wreck something with it.
- David R. Brower

The best morale exist when you never hear the word mentioned.
When you hear a lot of talk about it, it's usually lousy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot
of money even to be defeated.
- Will Rogers

Both young children and old people have a lot of time on their hands.
That's probably why they get along so well.
- Jonathan Carroll

Growing up, I didn't have a lot of toys,
and personal entertainment depended on individual ingenuity and imagination -
think up a story and go live it for an afternoon.
- Terry Brooks

If I could only have one type of food with me,
I would bring soy sauce.
The reason being that if I have soy sauce,
I can flavor a lot of things.
- Martin Yan

I grew up in a big family with a lot of kids around,
and I definitely want to have children as well.
- Heidi Klum

Being an intellectual creates a lot of questions and no answers.
- Janis Joplin

Love interrupts, if you like,
the consequences of your actions,
which in my case is very good news indeed,
because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.
- Bono

The triple is the most exciting play in baseball.
Home runs win a lot of games, but I never understood
why fans are so obsessed with them.
- Hank Aaron

There's a lot of music that sounds like it's literally computer-generated,
totally divorced from a guy sitting down at an instrument.
- Aimee Mann

A lot of people like snow.
I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
- Carl Reiner

A lot of people are afraid of heights.
Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
- Steven Wright

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club,
they'd starve to death.
- Sam Snead

Don't judge me.
I made a lot of money.
- Samantha Bee

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club.
You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.
- Erma Bombeck

So my father was a person who never lied to me.
If I had a question, he answered it.
I knew a lot of things at a young age because I was intrigued.
- Nick Cannon

If people are good only because they
fear punishment, and hope for reward,
then we are a sorry lot indeed.
- Albert Einstein

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex...
It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage
to move in the opposite direction.
- Albert Einstein

I've had two proposals since I've been a widow.
I am a wonderful catch, you know.
I have a lot of money.
- Ruth Rendell

Anyone who proposes to do good
must not expect people to roll stones out of his way,
but must accept his lot calmly,
even if they roll a few stones upon it.
- Albert Schweitzer

My experiences have taught me a lot and I'm happy with my learnings,
if not with what I went through to learn.
- Ally Sheedy

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
- Joey Adams


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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