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Let these funny Crop Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Endings: sometimes a season of sorrow and grief.
Endings: what must precede new beginnings.
Life is an endless cycle of endings and beginnings.
Renewal and rebirth cannot occur without endings -
as the new year's crop can only be planted and flourish
in the decay of last year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The crops were planted, tended, and harvested -
now the ground lies fallow, awaiting the new planting.
Did the year fail? I think not.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
Jesus was all right,
but his disciples were thick and ordinary.
It's them twisting it that ruins it for me.
- John Lennon
People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
Suppose you were an idiot,
and suppose you were a member of Congress;
but I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain
Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be;
and if it were so, it would be;
but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.
- Lewis Carroll
My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -
a practice which is still continued.
- Helen Rowland
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does
not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses.
They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton,
they laughed at the Wright brothers.
But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
- Carl Sagan
If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ
in color for a full hour,
there would be a considerable number of stations
which would decline to carry it on the grounds
that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.
- Edward R. Murrow
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice,
I would have English Channels round every country.
And the atmosphere would be such that
anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.
- Winston Churchill
Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard
If self-validation were our
most significant societal measure -
we would give trophies to ourselves.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy
The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach
There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
Act as if it were impossible to fail.
- Dorthea Brande
If you were a warrior,
you would know that the worst thing
one can do is confront human beings directly.
- Carlos Castaneda
You see things and you say, Why?
But I dream things that never were and say, Why not
- George Bernard Shaw
The word "happiness" would lose its meaning
if it were not balanced by sadness.
- Carl Jung
I was born on the prairies where the wind blew free
and there was nothing to break the light of the sun.
I was born where there were no enclosures.
- Geronimo
I won't miss you.
I will miss who I thought you were.
- Anonymous
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp
We could never learn to be brave and patient,
if there were only joy in the world.
- Helen Keller
Live as if you were to die tomorrow.
Learn as if you were to live forever.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The world moves, and ideas that were
once good are not always good.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller
There are those that look at things
the way they are, and ask "Why?"
I dream of things that never were, and ask "Why not?"
- Robert F. Kennedy paraphrase of George Bernard Shaw
If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap
whence everyone must take an equal portion,
most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
- Socrates
When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Half of everything you were ever taught is wrong;
the question is which half.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All that is necessary to break the spell
of inertia and frustration is this:
Act as if it were impossible to fail.
- Dorthea Brande
Most unhappiness comes from resisting life.
Occasionally, you have such a strong commitment
to changing the world order that it is worth
struggling against the flow of life.
But don't live your life as if each minor happening
were a matter of life and death.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We would never have a word for Joy
if there were no suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Were it left to me to decide whether we should
have a government without newspapers,
or newspapers without a government,
I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.
- Thomas Jefferson
If life were predictable
it would cease to be life,
and be without flavor.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that when you die,
the world cries and you rejoice.
- Indian Proverb
We act as though comfort and luxury
were the chief requirements of life,
when all that we need to make us really happy
is something to be enthusiastic about.
- Charles Kingsley
Our pleasures were simple - they included survival.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole
I thought then, and I think now, that the invasion of Iraq
was unnecessary and unjust.
And I think the premises on which it was launched were false.
- Jimmy Carter
Who were you before you put yourself last.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true
were really true, there would be little hope of advance.
- Orville Wright
The greatest hazard of all, losing one's self,
can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Follow your bliss and doors will open
where there were no doors before.
- Joseph Campbell
Treat people as if they were what they ought to be,
and you'll help them to become
what they are capable of becoming.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash
"I wonder what Piglet is doing," thought Pooh.
"I wish I were there to be doing it, too."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
While they were saying among themselves
it cannot be done, it was done.
- Helen Keller
We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason
if we dig deep in our history and remember
that we are not descended from fearful men,
not from men who feared to write, to speak,
to associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
- Edward R. Murrow
Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free
and realizing you were the prisoner!
- Max Lucado
Hide not your talents,
they for use were made.
What's a sundial in the shade?
- Benjamin Franklin
I have found out in later years that we were very poor,
but the glory of America is that we didn't know it then.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
When we got into office, the thing
that surprised me most
was to find that things were just as bad
as we'd been saying they were.
- John F. Kennedy
Look at everything as though you were seeing it
either for the first or last time.
Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.
- Betty Smith
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up.
- Thomas Edison
If we knew what it was we were doing,
it would not be called research, would it?
- Albert Einstein
Forgive and give as if it were your last opportunity.
Love like there's no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again.
- Max Lucado
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.