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Let these funny Conquers Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
He who angers you conquers you.
- Elizabeth Kenny
Know that love conquers fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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I learned that courage was not the absence of fear,
but the triumph over it.
The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid,
but he who conquers that fear.
- Nelson Mandela
He who conquers others is strong;
He who conquers himself is mighty.
- Lao Tzu
It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.
- Edmund Hillary
Doubt and mistrust are the mere panic of timid imagination,
which the steadfast heart will conquer,
and the large mind will transcend.
- Helen Keller
It is better to conquer yourself
than to win a thousand battles.
Then the victory is yours.
It cannot be taken from you,
not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
- The Buddha
I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive,
but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment,
failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer,
I should at once have been rightly cast aside.
- Winston Churchill
To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.
- Bertrand Russell
Inaction breeds doubt and fear.
Action breeds confidence and courage.
If you want to conquer fear,
do not sit home and think about it.
Go out and get busy.
- Dale Carnegie
Let us seek to invoke the wonders of science ...
explore the stars, conquer the deserts,
eradicate disease, tap the ocean depths,
and encourage the arts and commerce.
- John F. Kennedy
Do not attempt to conquer the world with force,
for force only causes resistance.
- Lao Tzu
Energy and persistence conquer all things.
- Benjamin Franklin
Hate is never conquered by hate,
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha
He who is not everyday conquering some fear
has not learned the secret of life.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.